Forever Family

Present and Accounted For! (I think!)

2011-09-19T12:48:00.000-04:00

Hey ya'll! I was so very thankful for each one of you who commented that you missed our posts! It means a lot!! I want to catch you up a bit on our little corner of the world. (I think a bullet-style list would be best here!)

All three kiddos in our house graduated and moved up. Abby and Laney graduated pre-school and headed to kindergarten. So far, kindergarten has gotten about a one thumbs up approval. They think the math "...is not great fun." and find it all rather boring. YIKES! I assume this is because they have had preschool for two years and since this seems to be review for them, there isn't a lot of excitement. Hayleigh, however, has moved on to 7th grade! She loves the new challenges and the fun social perks that go along with the freedom. She's also playing volleyball, and doing an amazing job at it! Are we ready for them to grow up? NO WAY. I'll save the "OMGoodness, she's a pre-teen and we're not ready for all that goes with it" post for next.
As Tony posted in picture-form, we had a fun summer. Hayleigh and I taught at Safety Town again this year. It's an awesome program that teaches kindergartners about all things safety related. Hayleigh was a HUGE help this summer. She read to them, taught some of the curriculum, and just helped out in general. We work with a few Sheriff's deputies and they think a lot of her too.
We also vacay'd in TN with my family (and Tony's family came too!). It was good to see family that we hadn't in a while. The girls had fun with all of their cousins too!
The summer was filled with other fun activities like a birthday pool party, a fairy walk, and a concert (NKOTB, baby!) And really, I feel that although the girls (Abby and Laney) have been with us for nearly four years now (WOW!) this past summer has done the most for us as far as attachment. It is fun for me to finally say, I have two full-on Mama's girls now! LOVE THIS!
One of the best things we did, as a family, was host some children and a chaperone for the Children of the World Choir. They are a part of the World Help organization. We hosted two gorgeous little girls. Asmita is eight and from Nepal. She was full of spirit and such a stinker! We LOVED her! Irene is 10 and from Uganda. Irene's smile could light up a room, and her prayers were so tender and loving. She melted my heart! We also hosted a chaperone, Auntie Carla, from the Philippines. She was such a caring adult. She was once a sponsored child, herself, and wanted to give back by being a chaperone. Although the three of them only stayed three days, they impacted us for a lifetime. They spoke to us about the need for wells and clean drinking water abroad. They also showed God's great love. These young children gave us a taste of what Heaven will be like.

Which leads me to why my husband has gray hair coming in. (Sorry honey!) I have been talking to him a lot lately about God's direction in our lives. I feel like I am so open to so much.

Moving...as in a big move...if God would say so. Which may mean a change of career for one or both of us.
Adopting again! Woot woot!
Homeschooling. I'm all about this, right now.

But here's the thing...God may not be calling us to any of these things. But I'm trying to remain open. And I'm trying to hear Him clearly. I often pray that God remove these desires of my heart if they are not His path for us. And so far, He hasn't. He hasn't called us to do any of them, but He hasn't removed them from my heart either. (Or maybe He has tried, and I'm too stubborn!) OR, just maybe, He has something different planned that we cannot even imagine! I'm ok with that too! (Not that my opinion matters here...heheh, HE IS THE BOSS!)

Tony and I just long to be obedient. We want to be willing to say, "Here am I, Lord. SEND ME!" when He does want us to. I keep telling Tony, we only get one shot at this life. If God wants me to teach math to fifth graders for the rest of my time here, then so be it. But if He does intend for that...why do I feel His whispers in my heart?

What about you guys? How is God using you? What thoughts are swirling around your heads? Do any of you struggle with obedience?

Do any of you have a word from God for us? Hehe...see, I'm desperate! But I do believe He uses friends and blogs too!

So there you have it. A little catch-up. A little heart talk. A little coffee. (Oh, that was MY coffee...sorry)

Talk back to me, friends!

PHOTO UPDATE OF THE PAST FEW MONTHS!

2011-09-05T21:24:00.001-04:00

Greetings...its Tony. You probably know I like to post pictures...so I will give you photo update showing what we've been up to this summer...Enjoy!

Last day of preschool.

Hayleigh's 6th Grade graduation...friend Ashtynn in the picture as well.

All the girls at Safety Village. Rett and Hayleigh taught Safety Town...

Abby and Laney were able to participate.

Tennessee VACATION! Tony and the girls enjoying NASCAR Speedpark....

Family Picture (taken before the professional photographer).

Here we are in the Great Smoky Mountains.

Girls chillin' at the hotel balcony in Gatlinburg.

Girls with cousin Addison at the Sprite and Fairy walk in Muncie.

Girls at their 5.5 year old pool party....

Hayleigh with her older sis Makayla at her 12 year old pool party...

We went to Africa!!!! These were friendly critters!....Just kidding...actually the Indy Zoo...

Rett and her niece Kristy at the New Kids on the Block Concert...Thanks for the ticket Kristy.

First Day of School! :( Kindergarten for the girls, 7th grade for Hayleigh.

Tony and Hayleigh at the Colts's game

Family picnic at Aunt Karla's...

Hosting our international guests from Philippines, Uganda and Nepal...

At the orchard with our guests...apples are a treat to them.

There's more Rett can blog about later. But this should give you an idea of our past few months. Keep checking in please! Have a great day.

Aw, Shucks!

2011-09-02T12:54:00.000-04:00

Ya'll make this Mama's heart swell, I say!

Glad I was missed. I missed each and every one of you too!

I promise...during this long weekend, I'll do a catch-up post with lots of pictures too!

Thanks friends!!!!

P.S. Lori, your sticker is in the mail. Please do not lick it with your Rum soaked tongue. It'll make it taste nasty.

A letter to you, from me.

2011-08-31T09:34:00.002-04:00

Dear Blogger World,

Do you remember me? I've been gone for awhile.

Now THAT was a bloggy break, if I do say so myself.

I wanted to take the summer off to enjoy my family. So I did. I didn't plan on NOT blogging...but it was sort of a freeing experience. Heheh.

A lot has happened in our little corner of the world...but where to start?

I know.

I'll start with...

IS ANYONE STILL READING THIS? DID YOU MISS US AT ALL?

Totally looking for a compliment or two here.

SO, just checking to see if anyone still reads this.

If not. Well.

Eek. I don't want to think about that.

I've miss you all. Just sayin'.

Much love,
Me

Really?

2011-05-10T08:45:00.000-04:00

There's a lot going on in our little world right now. Cheerleading practice and try-outs, school wrapping up, hair cuts, etc. But after I read Linny's blog...I cannot bring myself to write about those items.

Yeah. It's that important.

Talk about an eye opener.

Go read it.

Mother's Day

2011-05-04T09:50:00.000-04:00

This year, Mother's Day has take on several new meanings. It now has several new levels of depth. I almost can't wrap my mind around it all. Here, I'll let you in on what is swirling in my brain.

We have Stinker with us this year for Mother's Day. That means that this Mama's heart is even more full than in years past. God has granted me three wonderful girls. Whereupon I once thought I didn't even want children, now my heart longs for those with no Mama. Our children come to us a variety of ways. So far, mine have come to me via China, and through guardianship right here. If the Lord sees fit, we may have more come home too. And I'm ok with that. Way ok with that.

We have Stinker with us this year for Mother's Day. No, that's not an echo. It actually means that she is not with her biological mother this year. A friend and I were talking how it's easy to think about us as Mother's. But, what about the children? Our littles have no memories of their biological mother. So, between that and their age, they do not have a lot of emotions tied to this day. But Stinker? She knows her mom. She talks to her mom semi-weekly. She knows the situation her mom is in is rotten. She also knows this is a painful holiday for her mom. And she carries some of that burden. Yes, her mom did this to herself, but Stinker feels the weight of it. It's totally unfair.

Mother's Day will be a challenge this year for Rob and Ally. Just one short month ago, they said hello and goodbye to their first child. To, Oliver Matthew Junebug, their son. And although they trust God, this Mother's Day, her arms will be empty. Even when we longed for children and couldn't conceive, I am not sure that pain comes anywhere near the pain they're dealing with. She snuggled her baby in her womb. Then she snuggled him in her arms for an hour and 41 minutes. Such a fleeting time. I just hope and pray that we can do the right things, and say the right things to bring her comfort this weekend. Hers is another perspective we don't often think about.

A good friend of ours lost their infant son during heart surgery a while back. I have written about Tressel before. And although the loss of a child is much like Ally's, Tressel's mommy is feeling something different. She is suffering the loss of him on this day that celebrates motherhood, all the while feeling his baby sister move about in her tummy. She is carrying Tressel's little sister Scarlet. She's healing from the past, and embracing and trusting God for her future. This Mother's Day will be bittersweet, for sure.

Then there are the new mommies. The ones who prayed and prayed for a child. Or the ones who experienced the joys and pains of a surprise pregnancy. Their feelings are precious as this day unfolds for them for the first time.

And I will never forget those who have prayed for a child, longed and cried for a child, only to be without a child. I cannot forget the pain that lingers month after month while waiting to see if you're pregnant. Or even the pain waiting to see if an adoption was ever going to happen. That pain runs deep. And this Mother's Day will be a hard reminder of the absence of a child.

I cannot and will not forget that we nearly lost my mom this year. Just two weeks ago, she had to undergo emergency surgery. Surgery where if we had waited just a few more hours, we could have lost her. Then, this Mother's Day would have been sickening painful. And my mother-in-love DID just lose her mother, our Mamaw, a couple of months ago. Such an incredibly painful time.

And finally, there is the perspective from those who wait. Those who do not, or have never known the love of a Mother. There are hundreds of thousands of children who have no one to tell them they're loved. They have no one to caress their cheek, or play with their hair. No one to kiss their boo-boos or read to them. They have no one to cook or help them get dressed. They have no one to rock them when their scared, or pull them into their laps when they're sad. They have no one to sing silly songs, and whisper how Jesus loves them. No one. How fair is that?

So welcome to my world. This Mother's Day, I'll be in serious prayer for those affected by this day on the calendar. Will you please pray alongside me? I have not touched on every perspective, just those that that are a part of my world. This year will be tough. But it will be joyus too. I love being a mom. Love it to the depths of my soul. And so I'll celebrate with my children. They deserve that.

Almost...

2011-04-28T09:59:00.000-04:00

What a week. What a month. Wait, what a 2011.

This past Saturday, we had a really scary situation. My mom had been feeling kind of yucky for a week or two. She mostly had some really bad back pain. Lower tailbone back pain. Well, after going to a VERY unhelpful doctor's visit on Friday, it was determined she needed to go to the emergency room Saturday.

My sisters and I followed Mom and Dad in to the hospital. Mom could barely even move. Once we settled into the ER room, the doctor came in.

To summarize, he said, it could be severe arthritis, or muscular pain. OR, it could be (and pray that it wasn't) an aortic aneurysm.

You guessed it. She had an aortic aneurysm in her lower abdomen. So when we questioned about the course of action and he said surgery, we resigned to what would happen. When he clarified that the surgery would be RIGHT NOW, we became one group of emotional people.

I got on the phone and called Tony. Thankfully, Rob and Ally were at our house and would watch the girls. Then, I called our pastor and friend, Greg, who said he'd be there in two minutes. And he was.

But before any others got there, we gathered around mom to pray. By pray, I mean sob. It was so hard knowing it was an emergency surgery. We were a mess. Well, everyone NOT in a hospital bed was a mess. My mom, on the other hand, was a pillar of strength. When we gathered to pray, everyone had their heads bowed and eyes closed. No one could pray aloud. No one could breathe without sobbing. So who prayed? My mom. The one getting ready to undergo surgery. She prayed. She prayed for the surgeon and nurses. And she prayed for us.

This is the same woman who, when she was in the hospital another time, had Greg come and pray with her. Greg said when he finished praying, SHE prayed for HIM. He said it was highly emotional because he had never had someone pray for HIM before like that. That's my mom.

So after we prayed, others made it to the hospital. They whisked her upstairs with us in tow to the surgery waiting room.

During the three hours after surgery, at one point there were 25 people gathered in that waiting room. TWENTY FIVE! That should be a true testimony of my mom's ripple. The effect she has on others.

Well, she came through the surgery with flying colors. PRAISE GOD! And the surgeon came out to tell us that the side of the artery was tissue paper thin. He said that between her pain level and what he found inside, we could have lost her in mere hours. LOST her. My heart races to even think about that. God was written ALL OVER this situation. If this were a memorial box post, I'd put a balloon in there. It would remind me of how one side of Mom's artery was like a stretched balloon. But I'd write GOD on the balloon, because He kept that balloon together until the doctors could perform surgery.

She's still in the hospital recovering. Because, when my mom does something, she does it big. Not only was she fighting this aneurysm, she is also fighting gout. Badly. But she's healing. And she's her funny, sassy self.

And I'm praising Him from whom all blessings flow. God indulged our selfishness in wanting her here!

THANK YOU, JESUS, once again. We are not worthy, but OH how YOU LOVE US!

ROUND UP!

2011-04-21T12:05:00.000-04:00

Last night, we signed our babies up for kindergarten! *waaaaaah!*

It was a night full of emotions!

Me: Denial that they're old enough to attend kindergarten.

Them: Confusion about WHEN kindergarten actually starts, and just plain excitement!

We walked in to a flurry of activity. We stopped at the first table to get our folders of paperwork (more on that later) We then went around the room, stopping at the different tables.

*Side note* I signed them up for Girl Scouts!!! YAY!!!

Then, while they colored, we filled out the necessary paperwork. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. When I fill out ANY paperwork on them, I get filled with overwhelming pride. Overwhelming love. Weird huh? It's just that I am the one who gets to do the paperwork. And I am the one who gets to sign my name as "Mother" or "Parent". I'm not reading someone else's paper. These papers are for MY daughters to attend kindergarten. MY daughters. We waited so long to be parents, I still just get so excited over things like this. So there, that's a new perspective on paperwork for you.

Back to the round-up...We filled out the paperwork, turned it in, and set up a date for the girls to be tested. The teacher AND mom in me, got immediately anxious! My babies are perfect! Why do they need tested? Haha, I know, I know, standard procedure.

Afterward, we toured the school, and peeked in on some of my fellow teachers (they will be in the K-2 building while I'm in the 3-6 building). The girls got to love on some baby chicks and got to see their new classroom. They were SO excited!

Well, until it was time to leave.

By the end of the tour, you could see that the girls were NOT ready to leave. When I tried to take a picture at the entrance, you can see Abby bossing Laney to smile. Laney was not ready to leave, I think. Abby wasn't either, but she knew the quicker she smiled, the quicker she could get back to being nosey.

Then the girls asked the question I was hoping they wouldn't..."When do we come back? Tomorrow?" Ahh! How do we break it to them that they have months to wait? We explained that they'll start this fall. Yeah, that got us nowhere. Here's what we sounded like:

Us: You'll start this fall.
Them: When is fall?
Us: After summer.
Them: Is it summer now?
Us: No, it's spring.
Them: When is summer?
Us: After Spring.

UUUUGH! It was like a bad rendition of "Who's on first?"

So anyway, the little sweeties basically figured out that it was going to be a while before they could start kindergarten. But they quickly recovered with, "Ok, where are we going next?" Home, babies. Home.

*sigh* So there you have it. My daughters are no longer preschoolers....they're kindergarteners-to-be.

I'm excited, sad, anxious, happy, thrilled, and devastated all at once. Maybe on their first day, I'll drop them off and go meet with the school counselor. Bah! And for now, I'm going to soak up every last preschooler drop from them. Before they learn everything else this fall. Which is after summer. No, it's not summer, it's spring. When's summer you ask? After spring....

Shawn and the bunny

2011-04-18T10:09:00.003-04:00

OK, I want to start with a Stinker story.

My heart, this morning, ached.

On the way to school, Stinker and I were talking about this coming weekend's plans. We were talking about dying eggs, and that she could wear her Easter outfit to church Saturday night.

This prompted her question, "WHY would ANYONE go to church Sunday morning, this weekend? It's EASTER!"

I literally, had to pause and process what she said.

I gingerly said, "Honey, Easter is not about the bunny. Easter Sunday is one of the biggest celebrations in a Christian's life. Do you know what it means?"

She said she didn't.

We talked, then, about the significance of Good Friday, and the resurrection on Sunday.

The look on her face was priceless! She said she kind of knew all that, but didn't realize that was what Easter was all about.

Her next comment? "Well, I don't want an Easter basket then! That's not what it's all about! And where in the world did the bunny come in?"

Bwhahahahaahaha. I told her the bunny wormed his way in, just like Santa.

Tender girl. Learning so much every day. I'm so thankful to be a part of this.

-----------------------------------

I bet some of you are wondering where the name Shawn (in the title) comes into play.

Well, Shawn is my nephew. One of my nephews. One of my adorably handsome nephews. He's married to Jenn, and they have two gorgeous children, Greyson and Kynlee. They're a truly beautiful family.

Shawn has a tender heart. But he's no follower. He questions things. Always has. When I was helping in youth group and he was attending in junior high, he blatantly asked, "How do we know the Bible wasn't just written by some drunk guy?" See, always thinking. Not willing to just go along with things because he was told to. I love that about him. But that is also what has had him keep Jesus at arm's length.

So, anyway, I saw Shawn this weekend at Mei*er. He and Jenn were there getting t-ball stuff for Grey. They saw us in line and came over to chat.

Jenn said she had been following our blog (well, she always follows it) and was looking at Vanya. We talked about his situation, etc. She said she also followed our blog to Adeye's blog and couldn't get over how much one of her daughters looks like Kynlee. They are built the same, and share the same hair color and thickness.

This led Shawn to jump into the conversation. He said for me to STOP posting about adoption. To STOP posting about our newest nephew Olliver. He was half joking, but half serious.

He said it was tearing him up. He said the posts about Vanya and such were breaking their hearts (yay!). How all Jenn could talk about was adopting now. And how Oliver had touched him so deeply.

Of course, I cried there in Mei*er's line.

I warned him that I was going to start praying harder than ever for him. And that when I pray, things start to happen, so, "Be afraid, be very afraid!" Muahahahahah!

So when I asked God to break my heart for what breaks His, He is also breaking Shawn's heart.

So, Shawn. I never knew you did, but I know you're reading this now. So the following kiddos are for you.

These kids did not CHOOSE to be HIV+. They did not CHOOSE to be left behind. They did not CHOOSE not to have a family.

What will YOU CHOOSE to do about it?

MEADE

KAYLEE

BENJI (who I think looks like Grey)

And the THOUSANDS...MILLIONS of others.

So there, Shawn...just for you, Love!

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

2011-04-15T12:22:00.000-04:00

Friends, I shared with you about how this little guy, Vanya, has my heart.

It was seriously to the point I had people asking daily, "Is he your son?"

While I prayed and prayed and prayed about it, I honestly kept hearing "He's not yours..." whispered from our Heavenly Father. Mind you, had Tony said for us to pursue him, I would have wrestled with God on his no.

However, today, I received confirmation that sweet Vanya is not ours.

His situation has changed. He has to have a PAPER READY family go get him! This should be a family who is paper ready and waiting for God to show them their child, or paper ready and already planning a trip the Ukraine. They could then easily add this gorgeous boy to their family.

We are not paper ready. We're not even paper started.

Therefore, if you love me (yep, I'm pulling out all the stops) and if you love family, PLEASE post a link to ADEYE'S website on your social networking sites, blogs, well, and even your forehead. His family IS out there. I know it, God knows it, and VANYA knows it.

Ollie-day Eve

2011-04-12T15:46:00.000-04:00

Two weeks ago tomorrow, my gorgeous nephew Oliver was born and then went home to Jesus.

His parents, Rob and Ally, declared Wednesdays forever known as Oliver Day. So, today, is Oliver-day Eve.

Things have calmed down some. The services are over. The planning, preparing, and wondering are through. And now the reality of life without Ollie is upon us.

And. It. Stinks.

You, my friends, have been so faithful to pray. Please lift Rob and Ally up as they come to mind, please. They are having a few very rough days. They now have time to grieve, and grieving they are.

So please pray for them. Pray for everyone in our family as we struggle with the loss of the little guy. We know we'll see him again, and that's a comfort. But for now, the pain is still so real.

Thank you, for loving us...for loving Oliver, during this time.

It's My Fault.

2011-04-06T15:09:00.000-04:00

I am the one who commented on someone's FB status last night. I'm the one who typed it.

Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours.

Something I said rather flippantly. I mean, yes, Lord, break my heart. Make me tender to Your needs and wishes. Yes, I want to be used by God.

I didn't think He'd call me out on it today. But He did.

My heart is literally sitting on THIS BLOG. (The words in italics are some from her blog. I summarized some of the content.)

This is Vanya.

Vanya is eight years old, living in an Eastern European orphanage.

His mother led an immoral life. She could not take care of her son, so Vanya was living without even the basic necessities of life and was removed from her care. His father refuses to acknowledge his existence--he will not accept this little boy as his son and has chosen to leave him in the orphanage.

According to those at the orphanage, Vanya is a sweet little leader. And he loves to be loved. Who doesn't?

My heart. This is where God broke me.

Not a day goes by without Vanya asking his caretakers if someone is coming for him yet? Has he been chosen? Will it be his turn next? He has seen countless young children being adopted all around him.

Friends, a report from a missionary who knows Vanya states that he believes that one day someone will come for him. He believes that some day he will have a family to love him and he will get to live in a "real home." It's a dream he believes WILL come true.

Here's the reality--Vanya is on a list to be transferred from his current orphanage. Once an orphan reaches a certain age, they are usually transferred to a heinous mental institution for older children and adults. Vanya will be transferred any day now, and no one knows where he will be moved to. It is an undisclosed place from which he will never be able to be adopted. Vanya will live the rest of his childhood in this place and when he is old enough to be released, well, who knows what awaits him?

All of this and he's eight. EIGHT.

Vanya has two things against him. He is an older child, and not very many people are willing to take in the older kiddos. And second, Vanya is HIV+. Although many perceptions of the disease have changed over the years thanks to the amazing efforts of ministries like Project Hopeful, there is still quite a lot of ignorance regarding raising a child who is infected. Most people just do not know. They have no idea that it really is a do-able thing and that these kids deserve families just as much as others.

I'm going to be WAY vulnerable here. This need, this thing they call HIV+ is something that has been weighing on my heart for some time. I have been talking to God about this. It was a need we had never considered before. Not because we were afraid of those three little letters. But because we it was so unknown. Some reasearch, reading, praying, reading, praying, and reading about it, only made me realize that it is a need that is SO manageable.

Am I saying Vanya is ours? That's not up to me.

Am I saying we would take a child that had HIV+? Yes. Without hesitation. There would have to be a lot of education done for others.

Then, there are people like my friend Audrey who has adopted a little guy from the same country as Vanya. This is what she said about HIV adoption:

"It is TOTALLY do-able. Our son is healthy and wonderful. We visit his doctors every three months for a checkup and he takes meds twice a day. Other than that, HIV doesn't affect our lives at all. Jacob turned seven two weeks after we brought him home so we have done the older child adoption thing too. He is a blessing to our family and I CANNOT imagine what our lives would have been like if we had said no to this very special guy."

Vanya is on an anti-retroviral drug and is doing fabulously well.

Time is crucial. Vanya needs a committed family before he is transferred. We're racing against the clock here. The problem is that adoption costs money--and heaps of it. I hate it, but there is nothing that can be done about it. We call it ransom. Most families who adopt do not have the $25,000+ lying around to cover the adoption costs, so they fundraise. They work day and night to raise the funds that they require. It is hard work but the reward is priceless.

Therefore, Adeye, has set up this fundraiser! There's more! Read below!

The Eli Project is an incredible ministry who is advocating for Vanya. It is founded by Chris and Mary Malone. I love these guys. They have such huge hearts for the orphan. They adopt the children that no one else wants--those who are overlooked and in dire need of being rescued. They truly are an amazing family. The Malone's walk the walk. I love that about them.

The Eli Project is a 501(c)3. I have set up a Chip-In where donations can be made. Each and every dollar will go directly into Vanya's adoption grant fund right here at the Eli Project. That money will all be given to his family to cover his adoption costs. All donations are tax deductible.

Now you can head to her blog to find out the rest.

Friends, you will not want to miss out on this. You will forever impact the kingdom of God.

And spread the word. The more people who see sweet Vanya, the better chances for his family to find him!

Maybe it's because I just lost a gorgeous little boy a week ago today. A little guy that I thought would be so much fun to watch grow up and become a man of God. But Vanya has my heart. Another little boy who deserves so much. Who deserves to be loved. And a wonderful woman who is helping raise the ransom for him. I cannot wait to see who he becomes.

Thanks, God. You broke my heart for what breaks Yours. A silly little guy who wants to be loved.

Praise YOU in This Storm..

2011-04-04T08:37:00.002-04:00

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV).

That was my scripture in my daily devotional today.

I need His comfort.

Because I will need to comfort others this week.

...AND I WILL PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM...AND I WILL LIFT MY HANDS...

as promised, pictures of my newest nephew.

Oliver Matthew Junebug

Ollie and Mommy

A family of three

Pictures: Fingerprints of Grace

Oliver Matthew Junebug

2011-04-01T11:58:00.000-04:00

Olliver Matthew Junebug was born on March 30, 2011. He weighed in at 2 lbs 8 oz. at a whopping 13.75 inches long. Oh, and he was PERFECT.

Once I upload pictures, I'll prove it to you.

He was gorgeous. I could have snuggled him for days. But we didn't get to.

Oliver started giggling in heaven a mere hour and 40 minutes later.

But that's a miracle.

Our fasting and praying WORKED.

This sweet little guy with super underdeveloped lungs lived for an HOUR AND 40 MINUTES! He was not struggling. He did not gasp for air. He simply rested against his mommy's chest and soaked up the love. Daddy got his share with Oliver too. And they invited us, the family, to come in and whisper sweet lovin' to him too.

How blessed are we?

Every time my heart aches to see him, God reminds me that he granted us time we never thought we'd have.

But we're human. Sometimes it still hurts.

Little Ollie.

My newest nephew.

Thank you, Jesus for your blessings.

I know you'll take better care of him than we ever would.

And to my gorgeous nephew,

You, buddy, rock. You were a fighter from day 1. You knew there was lots of fun to be had both inside and outside of Mommy. So you fought. But Jesus had different plans for you. And I'm thankful. You won't have to deal with the junk in life. You were and are now perfect.

Have fun with Mamaw and Tressel. Get in lots of trouble with your Papaw's too, ok? And watch over us here. If you can, help ease your mommy and daddy's pain. It sure is hard without you.

I cannot wait to see you again. You'll be able to tell me all the secrets that nephews tell their aunts.

Until we meet again...I love you.

Love,
Auntie Rett

I will get to meet...

2011-03-29T11:35:00.000-04:00

my newest niece or nephew tomorrow morning. Ally is having a c-section at 8:00 tomorrow morning.

We're not sure how long Junebug will be here with us on earth. It could be seconds or minutes. I'm praising God, though, that He knows. This is His plan. Not ours. We trust Him with all the details. Yes, we can be sad, disappointed, angry, and heartbroken. He is too.

We just rejoice in the fact that He blessed Rob and Ally, and the rest of us with this little miracle in the first place.

Wow, the hearts that have been changed because of Bug. The people whose spiritual lives have been impacted for the better. The relationships that have been strengthened. The outpouring of love for Rob and Ally and a little one. It's all just amazing.

And as much as we love those three, God loves them even more. His love is ultimate.

...loves like a hurricane, I am the tree.
bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy!

Oh, how He loves us so.
Oh...how He loves us.
How He loves us, oh...

We are blessed enough to get to be there with them. When I would want to be selfish with my child, they are willing to share God's little miracle with us. I'm ready to love on my Lovebug.

Your prayers would be appreciated so much tomorrow. For as much as we trust God, it will be a difficult time for our human hearts. Pray for peace that we cannot even comprehend to fill that surgery and recovery room. Pray for a blanket of love to surround them. Pray for guidance in the decisions that will have to take place by both the doctors and Rob and Ally. Just pray.

Thank you so very much.

Love you, friends.

Thank you

2011-03-28T11:05:00.000-04:00

Thank you to everyone who fasted and prayed last Wednesday. Although we may not have received the kind of news we hoped for, we DID receive answers, and that was one of the prayers.

Rob and Ally updated their blog, so it would be easiest to read it there.

Junebug's journey is far from over. I will keep you updated.

And seriously, thank you all so much. I feel honored to "do life" with you!

Fasting for Junebug

2011-03-21T22:04:00.000-04:00

Hey, friends. I have been a Christian for many moons. But, honestly, in all my learning and growing, I never truly understood the concept of fasting. Fasting. In all my years, I had never been challenged to fast, or understood it enough to know I could have/should have fasted a time or a hundred throughout my life.

A good bloggy friend of mine introduced me to fasting. You can find Linny's blog here. If you scroll down the right side of her blog, you can find the labels for her posts. Click on fasting. You could read dozens of posts about fasting and its purposes. You'll find testimony after testimony proclaiming how fasting has moved mountains, and drew people closer to God. Her stories and explanations are so encouraging and informational.

But here, I'll give you the elementary school Reader's Digest version of fasting. (Because that's what level I'm at haha) Basically, when we fast, we sacrifice food (or items) that mean something to us. We choose to do this in order to draw closer and lean on God more. When we fast, we are petitioning God. We're going before the throne to ask God to move a mountain. We're asking Him to do something huge. And throughout the day(s) that we are fasting, we are often craving what we're fasting. Therefore, when my stomach growls (which it does, OFTEN) I am reminded to be in prayer for that mountain or need. When I am at my most desperate hour with the fasting, God supplies what I need and I lean into Him more. I often become quieter before God. I'm steadily in prayer, but when I'm fasting, I feel like God sees my heart clearer. And I can hear Him clearer. He knows that if I'm going to give up food, I MUST be desperate! :)

Some people cannot fast food. For health reasons, it is simply not possible. And God knows your heart. Maybe, instead of a whole day of fasting food, you fast a meal? Or fast other things. Find something that once it is missing, or not a part of your everyday, you'll be reminded to pray. It's not about WHAT you fast, it's about the purpose behind the fasting. Your intention. Your heart.

So, why the lesson on fasting?

Rob and Ally are going to Cincinnati for a second opinion about Junebug on Friday. Their doctors and specialists here are, pretty much, saying they have done all they can. I thought they saw the God we served when Junebug outlived their predictions. I thought the doctors realized the power of our God when He created space where there should be none. One would think they would get a glimpse of God when they saw that our Junebug was growing RIGHT ON TARGET, without the fluid and space otherwise afforded a baby. Maybe they did see it, but don't know where to go from here. Well, Cincy seems the place to go.

So, friends, Friday seems to be a day that could provide many answers for Rob, Ally, and Junebug. They will have a few more tests done, and see a specialist there. What some will see as a last ditch effort, I think God could use as the beginning of the next chapter of Junebug's Journey. You can hop over and read their blog for the details about what Friday will bring. (It was originally scheduled for Thursday, but will now be Friday.)

Therefore, I wanted to see if you, my sweet bloggy friends would be willing to fast with us on Wednesday. We have been discussing as a family what we will be fasting. It is an amazing opportunity to go before our King and ask that He heal sweet Junebug.

What will I be praying for?

I will pray that Junebug's kidney/bladder be healed. Simply healed. Something only our God can do.
I will pray that Junebug's lungs continue to develop and get stronger.
I will pray that Rob and Allyson have a peace that no one can give, other than God.
I will pray for ultimate wisdom for the specialists.
I will pray for hope.
I will pray for trust.
I will pray for our families. Honestly, Rob and Ally have been stronger than we have. They know God chose them to be the parents of Junebug regardless of the outcome. They have peace in God's decision. The families of Junebug are working toward that, but I will pray for our families just the same.
I will pray that Junebug's Journey will continue to touch the lives of many. That those who are far from God now, will be reunited all because of this sweet baby. And for others, that prayer for Junebug will strengthen relationships with God and family.

So will you join me, Wednesday?

It's going to be powerful. I can feel it.

Feel free to spread the word. I want to be storming Heaven with prayers on behalf of Junebug, Rob, and Ally on Wednesday.

Are you in?

B to the LAH! (That's BLAH for those who don't speak Rett)

2011-03-17T12:33:00.002-04:00

So, I'm in no mood to blog.

I think I'll just keep reading other people's blogs.

Yeah. That sounds like a good plan.

Then, I'll reread my last Thankful Thursday post.

I need it.

Oh So Thankful, Thursday

2011-03-10T09:50:00.000-05:00

Settle in, I'm going to do a bulleted list of why I'm thankful this Thursday!

I'm thankful it's Thursday. There's only one more day this week to get through.
I'm thankful that Tony's Mamaw is still with us. She is very very very sick, and the Hospice nurse thought she'd probably pass away Monday. Well, she doesn't know our Mamaw. She's Wonder Woman. She has the strength of ten elephants. She was alert yesterday, and speaking. Praise God!
I'm thankful for the witness that Mamaw is to us. She is a prayer warrior, for sure. What a wonderful child of God!
I'm thankful I'll get to see her healed and happy in Heaven one day!
I'm thankful for Junebug. I'm thankful that this little bug is alive and kicking (literally!). I'm thankful that he/she has outlived most babies in this situation. I'm thankful God is providing space where there is none. I'm thankful this baby is determined to LIVE!
I'm thankful for Junebug's parents. I'm thankful that Bug's parents are strong, selfless, caring, and wise beyond their years. I'm thankful for their relationship with God. And I'm thankful that because of Bug, their relationship has gotten stronger with each other, and God.
I'm thankful for a husband who is willing to stay up till midnight to put together bunk beds just to surprise the girls, and midnight two days later to pick up a cousin from the airport. And still going to work the next day! (By the way, he took Stinker with him because she had NEVER seen an airport in her 11 years of living. We love providing new experiences for her!)
I'm thankful for family. Without them, I'd be lost.
I'm thankful for new knowledge. I am learning so much about a special need that I had never really considered for adoption, and God is stirring my heart big time.
I'm thankful for friends who have a heart for the orphan and come up with creative ideas on how to raise awareness and funding for orphan care programs.
I'm thankful I have kids who complain, argue, bicker, apologize, hug, and make-up.
I'm thankful I have kids who just flat make me laugh.
I'm thankful I serve a mighty God who loves me unconditionally. When I mess up, He forgives me and still loves me.
I'm thankful for coffee.

Whew! There's nothing better than a thankful session to change perspectives!

What about you? What are YOU thankful for?

Ahhh, Junebug!

2011-03-04T09:29:00.000-05:00

Our sweet little Junebug is on the move! He (or she) is stretching, growing, and moving! As of yesterday, he is a whopping 1.8 lbs! Woot woot! Right on target! All that with a strong heartbeat to boot!

ONLY GOD!

And my family was blessed to FEEL Junebug on the move last weekend! This little body in there flexing and moving within the safety of his mama's belly. It was such a priviledge to feel the life within her.

ONLY GOD!

At their appointment yesterday, the doctors are just unsure how to proceed. Why, you ask? Because our little Junebug has defied all odds and has continued to grow and survive without cord compression. And that fact, my friends, is a miracle. They haven't seen any other babies live this long without fluid!

ONLY GOD!

There is a spot on or near the kidneys that they are unsure what it is. However, an MRI is scheduled to take a closer look at it. This will take place Wednesday.

ONLY GOD!

Junebug's little lungs cannot develop properly without that fluid. So, Ally started getting steroid shots to bump up the lung development.

ONLY GOD!

So Rob and Ally have a big decision to make after next Wednesday. Do they keep Junebug in the safe confines of Ally's womb and risk cord compression? Or do they deliver not knowing if his lungs, kidneys, and other vital parts are ready?

ONLY GOD!

Thank GOD, He will provide direction and wisdom for them. He has carried them (and all of us) through this whole situation, and will continue to do so.

God never promised to show us the end of the story, And really, I'm glad He doesn't. However, He DOES light the next stepping stone for safety. That is what this whole process has been. A series of stepping stones. From week to week, He lights the next step.

Wait and get another ultrasound.
Meet a new specialist.
Another ultrasound.
Steroids.
An MRI.

I trust He will light the next stepping stone for Rob and Ally too.
Thank you for praying. Storm heaven next Wednesday. (I'll be back to remind you!)

ONLY GOD!

And along came a man named John...

2011-02-28T12:23:00.000-05:00

John 1:6

It's important. Read HERE.

BUT GOD!

2011-02-23T08:46:00.001-05:00

You guys are doing it! Your prayers are being heard! (Not that I doubted, but confirmation is always nice! )

Baby Junebug has flipped totally around again! He is head down! That means this is one ACTIVE baby! God is providing space for him (or her) where there shouldn't be space! And at yesterday's appointment, he looked as though he might be practicing breathing! HOW? There's no amniotic fluid that WE know of. But God!

And his kidneys and bladder?!?! Amazing changes! Check out their BLOG to see what God is up to!

Both the specialist and their OB confirmed yesterday that there is no explanation about how Junebug is doing this. They, yes, THEY agreed only God could be doing this! God is ON THE MOVE!

So, friends, this next week is critical. Pray like mad that Junebug stays active and growing. Pray that he keeps putting on ounces. Pray that he keeps defying the odds! He is making believers where there were none, already!

Then, pray that the doctors have the best solution for Rob and Ally. They'll be meeting with the neonatologist next week too. Then, together all the doctors will determine a plan of action. Should Ally go into the hospital so they can monitor baby Junebug 24/7? Should they keep going week-to-week and keep it business as usual? Should they set a date to deliver? Only God knows the outcome. Thank Him, that He does!

Thank you, friends, for praying. That little bug means to much to me, as do his parents! I love that you're standing with me in prayer (some of you don't even really know me!) And Rob and Ally feel those prayers! The body of Christ is amazing!

You can check on updates on their blog HERE!

Love you, friends!

Junebug's Journey update!

2011-02-21T13:18:00.000-05:00

Sick.

That's the word that has been circulating around our home for a couple of weeks. Poor Abby had it first and worst. She had a bad ear infection which led to severe hives from the antibiotic. She was miserable, and we were miserable. I felt so bad for her.

During her sickness, Laney was feeling not-so-hot too, but we can only attribute it to a virus. Then, just as they got better, I got it. The flu, that is. It was awful. And the whole time, (well, ok, not the WHOLE time) but a lot of the time I was thinking about single parents. How in the world do they survive? Without Tony (and Hayleigh) it could have been ugly. And my wonderful mama let me call and cry to her when I felt my worst! THANK YOU, Jesus, for giving me the support system I need when I feel puny!

-------------------------

Rob and Ally go to two doctor appointments tomorrow. The specialist, and their OB. They are officially 23 weeks today. The latest is that baby Junebug is a fighter. With more and more limited space, this baby is proving space is a matter of interpretation! He (yep, I think it's a he) has been on the move. He moves, has hiccups, and is practicing sucking his thumb/hand. He has a strong heartbeat (161 at last appointment) and Rob has been able to feel the baby move! Ally said he has been kicking like crazy!

And his parents still continue to amaze me. Ally is providing a safe and loving place for him to hang out. Rob is being a good daddy and keeping Ally happy, and loving on little Bug as much as he can from outside the party. And they're still keeping their focus on Jesus. They're feeling the prayers (thank you!). And they're so stinkin' sweet (here's where I cry) because on their blog, they continually ask for prayers for the rest of us. Thye ask for support for the aunts and uncles, grandmas and grandpas. They are SO selfless! It makes me bawl. Thinking of others, when I would be so consumed within myself.

So, please. Today, and tomorrow, chat with God. Ask for His grace and peace for them. Ask Him to provide ultimate understanding and knowledge for the doctors. Ask for Junebug to remain strong, stress-free, and away from its umbilical cord. And ask Him to provide a miracle, in a big way. That specifically, little Junebug's kidneys produce some life-saving fluid.

We serve a mighty God! His fingerprint has been written all over Junebug's story. Thank God!

Stuph

2011-02-03T12:25:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I spelled it Stuph, instead of Stuff. One of my students (waaay back on Monday before the blizzard) said she was going to start spelling her name Kloe, instead of Chloe. I was like, yeah, and I'll spell my name Mrs. Phoster, instead of Mrs. Foster. Quite funny, I thought.

So anyway, quick update. Rob and Ally went to have Junebug's kidneys checked out and there is no kidney function. Sweet Junebug is as active as can be, but is running out of room fast because there is little to no amniotic fluid for him or her to hang out it. Therefore, the docs are saying little Junebug only has so much longer to live. I'm not sure how the doctors feel, but I know we serve a mighty God. One who can blink and start Junebug's kidneys right up if He chooses to. But I also know He could choose not to. Either way, I trust God. He knows better than me. He sees the entire picture. I am limited in understanding, where he is not. God has Junebug at the center of His heart. As much as we love this little baby, He loves him (see, I think it's a boy) even more! So God, do your thing. Heal Junebug. Ease our pain here. Let us help raise Junebug to be a powerful warrior for you. But, God. If Junebug is going home sooner than we want, we will still praise your name. You blessed our family with a little hero. This little bug has done more in 20 weeks for some people, than most of us do in a lifetime. Thank you, Jesus, for bringing us closer to you, and closer as a family because of Junebug. Monday, when Rob and Ally go back to the doctor, please equip the doctors with ultimate compassion and skills to help them.

Transitioning topics...

I'm working on day three of a pinched nerve behind my left shoulder blade. The pain radiates up my neck. Any wise suggestions to help me? I'd be forever grateful!

I finished Crazy Love last night. Wow. I keep saying that I feel some changes on the horizon. That I know God is going to shake things up. That I'm waiting on Him to reveal His plan for our lives. But after reading that book...yeah. Well. It questions whether or not that is just my excuse to buy time. Instead of waiting on a memo from God, I need to be love every day. I need to draw closer to Him and pray for Him to transform me every day. I cannot wait for a big reveal. And, as I work daily on this, I will ultimately draw closer to Him, and be a better listener. So, yeah. Love. Lots of daily, crazy love. Jesus, help soften me and show love to others, even the unlovable every day.

Next book to read? A Hole in the Gospel. And I just had dinner with friends last night and they passed on the book The Glass Castle. So I'll be reading that too. Any other suggestions?

I promise to post some pictures soon. We have had a good few days off and I have the pictures to prove it. One day, all three girls got all dressed up and played America's Next Top Model. They worked out a routine and all. It was too cute. But, note to self, do not watch that show. What in the world is it teaching them?

Right now, the neighbor is over and they're all in the living room playing Dance Central on the Kinect. They're all panting and giggling hysterically. Maybe I should go workout with them? Pinched nerve. Eh, maybe not.

Finally, GUNG HAY FAT CHOY! Happy Chinese New Year! It's the Year of the Rabbit! We're going to celebrate with friends from our local International Adoption Group on Saturday night. I hope your next year is filled with joy, happiness, and deeper relationship with God!

Mrs. Phoster, OUT.

Remember!

2011-01-31T14:37:00.003-05:00

Rob and Ally's next appointment is today at 3:45!!!

Pray for sweet Junebug and his (we're thinking it's a boy!) doting parents!

WORK KIDNEYS, WORK!

I Heart Adam Cappa**

2011-01-28T11:12:00.003-05:00

***Updated! See below!

First, thanks for the book suggestions! A Hole in the Gospel is my next read. Then, Radical, for sure!

So are you curious about what my title means?

Well, have you ever heard of a musician by the name of Jeremy Camp? I'm sure you have. He is stinkin' awesome! He has a tour coming up (woot, woot) that is even more awesome now! It's more awesome because his opening act, is a good friend of mine, Adam Cappa. You read that right, a friend of mine is opening for Jeremy Camp!

Adam is an awesome young man. I say young, because he could almost by my son. I said ALMOST. Not quite though. So it's totally acceptable to say he just happens to be stinkin' cute too. Heheh, did I just say that? I'm not lusting or anything, he's just a cutie patootie. Wanna see for yourself?

See, told ya.

But even more than cute, Adam is a passion-driven, sold out, man of God. He has a heart that yearns to be close to God. You can see Jesus in him. To top it iff? He's humble. Really humble. And his singing? Well, let's just say, I told him at some point, he WILL be doing a lullaby CD for my girls. And preferably before they're 20, and don't need one. Ahh, but he's busy, so I'll let it go for awhile. .

He is floating back and forth from my hometown, to Nashville, where he just finished his third CD. He has recorded with Jeremy Camp, and his music is so powerful. I can get in a full state of worship listening to him.

Ok, ok, I've bragged enough...go ahead and do a search for him. Listen in. God is doing a big work in him, for sure. I know Adam (who Stinker absolutely adores) is impacting Stinker's walk with Jesus. She's learning so much from Adam and his example, and his lyrics. He will be one of the reasons, we'll see her in Heaven one day.

adamcappa.com is one way to find him. Or, do a search of F*ce*ook. You will not be sorry, I promise. If you email him, or FB him, tell him I sent you!

Then, look up the tour dates. This will be one, you won't want to miss!

Jesus, oh Jesus!
You saved me,
Hallelujah!

***Stay tuned! I'll be doing a separate post with a giveaway of one of Adam's current CD's!

WOWZA!

2011-01-27T11:49:00.000-05:00

I am reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan right now. Yeah. God is doing a new work in me, for sure. But I have to share a WOWZA from yesterday.

I had just finished reading a chapter during my lunch hour. In that chapter, Chan had just talked about living simply. Living with less. Giving more away, and loving more.

So I was thinking...living with less. Downsizing. Doing more with less, etc.

I literally, turned off my phone (use my Kindle app to read it) and opened my email. My sweet sister sent me an email about an amazing, huge home that is for sale. Um, helllllo temptation for Satan much?

What was the NEXT email that popped up? "First steps toward buying a NEW CAR!" Needless to say, I closed out email for a while.

Isn't that nuts?

No Change...Yes Change

2011-01-25T09:07:00.000-05:00

I started to title this post, "No Change". But really, that wouldn't be true.

See, Rob and Ally went to the doctor yesterday and little Junebug's kidney situation has not changed. His or her kidneys are still not functioning. Sweet Robby and Ally are going to have to wait another week to see if there has been any changes to bring hope.

So, "No Change" for a title seemed accurate. But then, I thought, no it isn't. There have been changes. People have been affected by little Junebug and by Robby and Ally. Want to see the changes? I'm going to list them in case they would stumble on my blog, and need encouragement.

Who has been changed?
1. Robby and Ally. They have been stretched emotionally, spiritually, and physically. They have handled this situation with the grace that many (including me) couldn't muster. When I would be upset and questioning God, they're thanking Him for being able to experience pregnancy. When I would be begging for prayers, they are so humble and feel guilty asking for prayers. They hate to ask others to pray when they know others may be dealing with equally as painful situations.

2. Because of them, I am changed. My heart is softened. I will be transparent here. I am competitive. I can be jealous. I am human. While I truly adore Rob and Ally, my feelings tend to get messy sometimes and I can feel those ugly feelings of competition and jealousy. But little Junebug has helped me erase that. I feel such love for this little baby. And as for Rob and Ally, I've always loved them, but it has most definitely gone deeper throughout this. I admire their strength and, in some ways, feel like they're the older wiser couple. I want nothing more than to take this pain away and heal their hurt. God is doing a big work in me.

3. Friends and family are coming together to pray for a little one, who has yet to meet us. People are uniting in a love for Junebug, Rob, and Ally.

4. People throughout the states are praying for them. There are people praying for this family that have never met them. This shows me the love of the human spirit. God is moving in this country. And He is alive and well. We see it and feel it in these prayers.

5. As I explained to Rob last night, there may be people praying to our Father in heaven, who have not been able to speak to Him in some time. They may have hardened hearts due to their own pain and past. But, this little sweet baby has opened or reopened a line of communication with God. A baby did this!

See, so many people have affected and changed by this little one. By Junebug's parents. Therefore, "No Change" just wasn't a fitting title. "Yes Change" is more appropriate.

Can you see the change?

Junebug, today is a big day for you!

2011-01-24T11:19:00.000-05:00

Friends, today my brother and sister-in-love are going to the doctor to see how Junebug is doing. It is absolutely necessary that little Bug's kidneys be working or starting to function by today. Bug's parents have been totally leaning on God. They trust him, as do we. But, all the same, could you please pray super hard today? Their appointment is at 3:00 (Hoosier time). We would so appreciate those prayers.

Dear Junebuggie,

This is your aunt, Rett. I'm not sure how God does it, but he created a wonderful miracle that is you. And I am already madly in love with your little self. I want to spoil you rotten! I have already purchased things for you! I want to be the house you run to for safety and love. I want you to dish to me, when you won't share with anyone else. I want to wrestle, and chase, and pray together. I want to see the light in your Mama and Daddy's eyes when they meet you for the first time. I want to get updates on all of your firsts. Oh, Buggie, I love you so! Work extra hard to show your Mama, Daddy, and the doctors your working kidneys today. And, if your little organs aren't working...we will love you all the same. You are a treasure created in the image of God. Perfect in every way.

I love you,

Rett

JUNEBUG

2011-01-19T12:15:00.000-05:00

PLEASE stand with me in prayer for my newest niece or nephew-to-be, Junebug. My brother and sister-in-love are over the moon excited about their first child (as are we), but things are not going well. Little Junebug's kidneys need to start working to produce some amniotic fluid, fast. If not...well, there is no, if not.

We serve a mighty God of miracles. Only HE can get those kidneys working properly.

Please, Jesus. Healer. Thank you so much for the blessing of Junebug. Thank you for surprising us all with what we thought would be nearly impossible. But nothing is impossible with you, God. Please touch little Junebug, still forming and growing. We are selfish and want that little baby to be safe and healthy, and here with us. Equip the doctors with knowledge and insight to be the best for Rob and Ally. Please give them strength and peace. We pray your will is for Junebug to continue to grow and be strong and healthy. But, we trust you. Your plan is ultimate. Thank you for hearing our pleas. Amen.

Please storm heaven with me.

I Have a Dream...

2011-01-17T14:06:00.000-05:00

...that someone will RESCUE this little boy from a life of sickness, lonliness, and lack of love.

He has already been transferred to an institution, people. Do you hear me? He is the same age as Abby and Laney. Has the same tender thoughts and questions. Longs to be loved. To be read to. To be tucked in.

God, please! Send someone to rescue him!

Are you his family? Do you know someone who is?
Click below!

PEYTON

Exactly

2011-01-17T08:15:00.000-05:00

I read this on another blog...

"Take the first step in faith. you don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thank you, Mr. King. It is so true.

...a brewin'

2011-01-14T11:33:00.000-05:00

Something's a brewin'. I can feel it in my bones. God is calling us to something. I'm not sure what yet, but you can bet I'm listening. Since I'm a "DON'T look before you leap...just leap in faith," kind of person, I've been trying to hint that there's something a brewin' to Tony. He's the "Look, pray, calculate, pray, figure out, make a list, pray, then leap," kind of person. I love that about him. Most days. He balances me. He's my yang.

But this time...I'm afraid God's going to say, "Leap. Now. Or miss out." And who knows? It might be anything from witness to someone I haven't, or financial focus, or reorganize our life and refocus, or adopt, or move, or oh, who am I kidding? God's plans are always way better than any I can dream up. I just know something's a brewin'. God has been working on me.

Oh, God, prepare our hearts. Prepare the hearts of Abby, Laney, and Stinker. Prepare the hearts of our family. I'm so not sure what You have planned, but here am I, send me. Continue to work in my heart and mind. Continue to knit Tony and I together. And please, God, make you plan clear and obvious, for our brains tend to muck things up. Thank you for choosing us. Equip us with what is needed to serve you.

Will you pray too?

To end, I read this quote this morning. So powerful.

He has right to interrupt your life. He is Lord. When you accepted Him as Lord, you gave Him the right to help Himself to your life anytime He wants.

Henry Blackaby

Ho Hum

2011-01-04T11:36:00.000-05:00

So, I'm back. Took a LONG bloggy break and just soaked up my family over winter break. I did NOT want to come back to work today, but alas, it is a must for now.

We will post some pictures from Christmas and from the girls' FIFTH BIRTHDAY party. Five? They're five? It's just not fair! The girls often joke with me about not growing up since I don't want them to. Waaaah! Five!

I have to leave on a funny note. One particular night I guess our dog, Cooper, was getting on Abby's nerves. She ended up saying, "Cooper! You and I are gonna scrap!" Bhwhahaahah. I say that ALL THE TIME!

Oh, and when I told the girls their bickering was getting on my last nerve, Stinker piped up and said, "How many nerves DO you have?"

Two five year olds, and an eleven year old. Can you say gray hair? Can you believe I even want more? (Kids, not gray hair!) ha!

Merry CHRISTmas!

2010-12-20T13:24:00.001-05:00

May your holidays be filled with the HOPE of Jesus, and the JOY of God's love!

From our family to yours,

Honor

2010-12-13T11:40:00.000-05:00

People often comment that I have a way with words. That I can encourage a variety of emotions to stir, all in one post.

I, my friends, have nothing on this teenager. Her name is Honor. Click her name to read.

Shallow.

2010-12-09T12:11:00.001-05:00

I'm in a bloggy blah mood...but I think it's because I don't want to talk about deep topics. I feel kind of shallow right now. I wonder if God is going to do a work in me soon? Here am I, Lord send ME!

So in the mean time, I stole this from Jaime at Fearfully.Wonderfully.

I totally stole this from Whitney at The Glamorous Life of a Housewife

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Under the tree, I like wrapping paper. There is something about tearing open a gift that a gift bag just doesn't deliver. I have memories of sitting in a wrapping paper flood. Honestly, I would like the smell of wrapping paper to come as a candle scent. Don't judge! Ha!

2. Real tree or Artificial? Growing up, it was artificial all the way! And my mom was a bit of a matchy girl. The tree was either all shades of blue, red, green, etc, depending on her mood. I loved it. I love personalized ornament trees too, so we do both in our house now! And yes, all on an artificial tree. But I want a real one next year. When we first got married, we got the plantable kind. They were SO heavy, but such good memories!

3. When do you put up the tree? Usually the night of Thanksgiving. This year? The week BEFORE Thanksgiving! I love it!

4. When do you take the tree down? I have taken it down Christmas night, or at the latest the next day. Once Christmas is done, it's done.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yepper!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Cabbage Patch Kids and Pound Puppies. (That was Jaime's answer and those were favorites...but my most favorite? My pink and gray ten speed bike. Oh yeah, I was cool!

7. Hardest person to buy for? My mom and dad.

8. Easiest person to buy for? My kiddos (all THREE this year!!!)

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? You can email them and it's ok to do so? I must investigate this! I want to do that!

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Hmmm..Gold shoes. Thanks big sister, Renee! (wait, that was for my birthday, but it still counts!)

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story, and Charlie Brown's Christmas

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Black Friday...or randomly before.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? ~~No.~~ Ok, um, Yes. Go Green! (heheh)

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Cookies!

16. Lights on the tree (colored or clear)? White lights! But if we get a real tree next year, I think I'll throw caution to the wind and go with colored lights!

17. Favorite Christmas song? There isn't one I don't like. Seriously.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Travel to my parents and his family's Christmas.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen. And of course, Rudolph.

20. Angel, star or ribbon on top of tree? Bear angel.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Eve at the in-laws. Our family Christmas morning. My parent's house next, then his family's. Lots of gifts. Complete with a birthday cake for Jesus!

22. Favorite children's Christmas song? I Want A Hippopotomus For Christmas

23. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The overemphasis on gifts. I'm all about the shopping, but the stress can be daunting.

24. Favorite ornament theme or color? Like I said above, we usually do colors that match our living room (red/black). But now that the girls make ornaments at school or church, I treasure those.

25. Turkey or ham on Christmas day? Why alienate one? Both, I say!

26. What do you want for Christmas this year? It sounds selfish. I only asked for diamond earrings. But by diamond, I told Tony, the $9.99 kind at Walmart. heheh.

27. Does anyone in your family dress up as Santa? My dad wears a Santa hat when he passes our gifts. So sweet!

28. Age you discovered who Santa was? Don't even TELL me Santa isn't real?!?!?

29. Eggnog, hot chocolate, or apple cider? Eggnog latte from Sta*bucks

30. Traditional colors (red and green) or other colors? For Christmas? Red and green!

31. Do you have any Christmas decorations on your roof? Yep...lights are strung!

32. How does Santa get into your house? Chimney or magic key? Magic key!

33. Do you prefer gifts or gift cards? It depends on who it's from! :)

34. Favorite children's Christmas Cartoon? Charlie Brown Christmas!

YOUR TURN!!

Only God. Only God.

2010-11-23T12:45:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure when I'll have time to do another post this week, because I'll be busy living life with my blessings! Woot woot! Which is just one of the many things I 'm thankful for!

So, I thought I'd do a variation on the Memorial Box Monday posts that Linny does over at A Place Called Simplicity.

She asks us to think about a time God has been faithful, or a time where His voice has been clear. Then, choose a memento to represent that time and display it where you will remember. This allows us to recall the goodness of God when times might not look so good.

Well, God has come through in a big way lately. He not only blessed our family with Stinker, He included a good relationship with her siblings. We are able to text, call, and see them just about whenever we want to or they want to! He has somehow created a relationship between us all that does not include jealousy. We are constantly aware that S's siblings could be jealous that she is with us, while they are not. But they aren't. They have confirmed in many ways that S needs to be with us, and they with their cousin in order for everyone to heal. They have said to us directly, that our home is the best place for S. How could two children, who have endured just as much as S, extend such caring and grace? Only God. Only God.

Our families both welcome S's siblings into the family as well. They ask about, pray for, and care about those kids just as much as us. And her siblings love our family as well. Matter-of-fact, S's sister recently asked for a get together, so we could all get together and eat and enjoy each other's company. How could two families, so vastly different in backgrounds and history, be so accepting and open to one another? Only God. Only God.

God was also wonderful to my family, by blessing my mom with a wonderful surgeon who did her hip replacement. She was so hesitant to have surgery again. So worried about the outcome. Well, worried until she handed it over to God. Then, in the holding tank (that's what I call it), right before she went in for surgery, we got to see her. The peace that was in that curtained room was breathtaking. The peace on her face. The calmness in her voice. Only God. Only God.

And my mom is healing! She is stretching, and working out. She is doing the therapy they are telling her to. My dad is such a good support for her. He sees the future for them. And it looks so much brighter than it did mere months ago. Man performed the surgery. Man helps with therapy. But the ultimate Physician? Only God. Only God.

Finally, as weird as it sounds, I'm so thankful that Abby started sobbing when I was leaving this morning. I think other mothers do the same thing, but I often question my parenting. Am I good enough? Did I respond correctly? Why did I yell? Was I tender enough? Did I just act like a child, just like them, just then? Will they need therapy as an adult? Those are some of the questions I ask myself. (and God) Make no mistake, we are trying to raise our girls, all three, to be independent and confident in who they are. This usually means that when I leave in the mornings (I leave first) they give me kisses and tell me they love me, and run off to play or finish getting ready. I'm going to be transparent here. Sometimes, I get sad. I hate that I have to leave them in the first place. Then, I hate that they so easily let me go! So when Abby started crying this morning, I was, in a weird broken-hearted-yet-joyful sort of way, happy. She wanted her Mama to stay with her. She didn't want me to leave. Oh, my heart! I have since called and checked on her at my sister's house, and she's fine. Just needed some more Mama squeezes this morning. And I'm so glad to do it! Just over three years ago, Tony and I were longing for a child. We ended up with gorgeous twins! (and now S too!) Only God! Only God!

There is much more I could write, but I want to know something. What is your "Only God!" story?

What are you thankful for?

Happy Turkey Day! Thank you, GOD!

Bonding and Birthdays

2010-11-16T22:01:00.001-05:00

On the eve eve of our family birthday, I'm feeling sort of reflective. But oddly enough, it's a swirl of emotions about our first babies in China, and our newest chickie here.

We prayed and prayed about attachment and bonding before we ever left for China. We wanted our girls to be loved so much that they'd transfer that bonding to us. Well, having twins, we got a little of both types of reactions. I often joke that Abby had the reaction of, "Oh! YOU'RE Mama and Baba! Where have you been all my life?" Seriously. One Cheer*io and she was hooked on us. (And we were hooked on her too.)

Laney? Well, she didn't like us. It took her a while to warm up to us. And by a while, I mean...like 20 bags of Cheer*ios later. Heh. Even today, we're working on bonding. But I'm thankful we have come so far.

Then, there's S. I feel like we're somewhere in the middle. She can be silly and affectionate (as in, sit on me if I'm layinug on the floor...NO personal space.) Or, she can be distant and stand-offish. Like, tonight, I kind of snapped at her during homework. After she got out of the shower, I went in to apologize. I told her I wanted to give her a hug. She was like, "No. It's fine. I don't want a hug anyone." I won't lie, my feelings were hurt. She hugs my mom, and others!

But I have to step back and remember:
A. She's 11.
B. She's emotional.
C. I had just snapped at her.
D. We're still settling into our new normal.
E. It's totally uncool to hug.
F. Any other thoughts?

So other tween moms...tell me everything is normal. Yes, I'm the QUEEN of OVERANALYZING! So it's ok if you tell me that too! Hehehe.

Ok, last request...since our Family Birthday is coming up, do you have any good ideas for how we can celebrate? We can't until Saturday because Tony has a meeting, but we want to do something fun! Three years ago we became a family! Any ideas?

Bahahaha

2010-11-13T02:32:00.000-05:00

Two things:

1. My mom's surgery went smashingly well! She has a new hip and has been doing therapy beautfiully! Now if she'll just EAT to keep her energy up! Thank you for praying! God is good!

2. We're all pathetic. How in the world did NONE of us see on my sidebar that you can follow my Tweets. But, um, upon further inspection, my last tweet was some 180 days ago?!?!?!?! Yikes, time to take that off the blog.

That's it. It's 2:30 AM and I couldn't sleep. Random, I know. But that's how I roll.

(Yes, I'm a little slap happy)

WOW. Talk about suspense.

2010-11-10T19:34:00.001-05:00

Ok, if anyone was still checking back to see if we got guardianship,WE DID! Matter-of-fact, we received the paperwork today that makes it 100% official! WOOT WOOT!

Our stinker is no longer a "foster child" but a child of ours! (Well, not adopted, but loved just the same.)!

This is a picture from one of the recent "makeover" sessions. WOW. I need to schedule them appointments at EB's makeup counter, STAT!

I know it seems odd that I chose THAT to be our first picture of her posted on here, but that picture, friends, speaks volumes. S (she doesn't want me to post her real name yet--she prefers Stinker. ODD GIRL) is such a fun girl. She is always up for an adventure and loves to laugh. She is so tender with the girls. She cheers them on when their afraid, does gymnastics with them to make them strong, prays with them, tickles them, encourages them, and just plain loves them. And, oh, that feeling is mutual. We're so thankful to have her as a part of our family!!!!

Sorry for delaying that good news. The hearing was Friday, followed by a HORRIBLE virus hitting our house Saturday. Satan did NOT like what happened on Friday, for sure! So, I'm finally among the living tonight. Bottom line, THANK YOU FOR THE PRAYERS!

On one last VERY important note...my mom is having hip surgery tomorrow. Total hip replacement, actually. PLEASE pray with me for accurate surgery, my mom's safety throughout, swift healing, and strength for my dad and family. You guys are the best at praying, THANK YOU for loving us, through this blog.

BIG DAY TOMORROW!

2010-11-04T10:41:00.000-04:00

Isaiah 43:2 (NLT) "When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you."

That was the scripture on my daily devotional today. I thought it was a good reminder. I posted it in case any of my two readers needed to hear His promise today.

Also, tomorrow is a big day for us. At 3:45 we will going to a guardianship hearing for S. We will find out tomorrow if we can gain guardianship of her. We KNOW what our hearts say. We pray it aligns with the judge's heart. But, ultimately, God's will be done.

STAND IN PRAYER WITH US, PLEASE!

ANGEL TREE

2010-11-01T12:35:00.001-04:00

Oh, my heart. You have to go HERE and follow the link for the Angel Tree sponsorships. Or go directly HERE and scroll down to stare into the most beautiful eyes of some of the most gorgeous children. Each of these children need sponsorships to help their family find them. You will help lower the costs to bring them home, and away from the tragedy of certain death for them!

WHAT could be more important than saving the life of a child?

You don't even have the exccuse of..."Oh, if my husband would agree, we would adopt." Or, "If we had the money to, we would adopt." Well, YOU might not be the one who adopts one of these cuties, but you might help another family take that leap because the costs are lower! Or who knows, God might knock on your heart by having one of their faces leap off the page at you.

Go ahead and look. Don't be afraid. Sponsor one, or sponsor all. Help save their lives!

He is MIGHTY TO SAVE!

2010-10-12T12:15:00.000-04:00

The past few days, all of my girls (Abby, Laney, and S) have been walking around singing, humming, and dancing to the song, "He is Mighty to Save".

...Savior!...He can move the mountains...He is mighty to save...He is mighty to save!
...Forever. Author of Salvation...Our God is mighty to save...He is mighty to save!

Those might not be the exact right words, but that's what we've been hearing! What's cool is that S has had very little church experience. She basically knows nothing about the Bible and does not have a personal relationship with Christ. But GOD! He is working in her little heart. She sings praises to Him all day. She BEGS to go to church for youth group and the weekend services (during which she sits with us). She is learning about the purpose and power of prayer. And sweetly enough, our daughters have been a huge part in learning about God. They teach her so much! Thank you, Jesus!

Well, like I said, all the girls have been singing it. I heard a bit of Laney's rendition last night. Her's went something like this:

...Savior, He can move the mountains! He can move the cars! He can move the heavy stuff! He is mighty to save!!!

Bwhahaha. I thought that was so funny! But, Sister, He CAN move the heavy stuff! We just have to let Him!

Also, if we come to mind tomorrow...please pray for us. We have a court hearing. S will be staying with us, YAY GOD! but some other changes may occur within her family. Thanks for praying.

Awwww

2010-10-11T10:46:00.000-04:00

No pics to accompany, but had to share two sweet moments that happened over the past week.

A couple of weekends ago, S had a friend stay over (we talked about it in an earlier post). Well, S had a blister on her lip, so S, her friend, and Tony went to the pharmacy to get some lip balm for it. While they were there, they bought me a rose. It was entirely their idea, I guess. But they came home with a long- stemmed red rose for me. They said they got it because I was so sweet and nice. :) I looked for the sarcasm and found none. Ha! (See how much I trust two sixth grade girls?) They were honestly trying to be nice! That rose sits in a C*ke glass on my counter. Every time I look at it I smile. And I thank God that He chose us to have S for this season of our lives.

-----------

And then yesterday, Tony and Abby ran to the grocery (after he let me sleep in until 11!!! Yes, be jealous!) Well, S and Laney were out back playing and our neighbor's grandchildren were out there. Our kitchen window was open so I could hear and see them. S walked up beside Laney, and I heard her proclaim loudly, "THIS IS MY SISTER!" and point directly at S. Oh, my heart! S immediately ran back in giggling to tell me. I could tell she wasn't sure how to process the emotions that went with Laney's declaration, but was pleased, nonetheless. We knew she loved it when she repeatedly told the story to Tony's mom and dad and mine later that evening. She also wanted to tell a co-teacher I work with this morning. Sweet Laney. Sweet S.

Oh, God! Prepare our hearts now, if she is to only be with us a short while. However, if she is ours for a loooong season, we will be overjoyed! If our home is the safest place for her to be, Lord, bless us with this child! Your will be done!

The room....

2010-10-05T21:50:00.001-04:00

Ok, we painted S's room.

A picture is worth a thousand words...so here are a few pictures...let's hear your words!!

The room before....(our old office)

And below the room after (the room of an 11 year old girl)

Don't fret, the brown office chair will be leaving...a cute white chair awaits.

P.S. - Tony updated his blog, believe it or not, so check it out!!!

My heart!

2010-09-30T12:43:00.000-04:00

So I was sitting on the floor at home talking to the family. We were just being lazy and hanging out.

Abby was getting sleepy and ready for bed. Abby looked over at me and said, "Mama, sit on the couch please." When I asked why, she said, "I want to love on you."

Awww...my heart.

We hugged, snuggled, and LOVED on each other!

Thank you, Jesus!

Duck Tail Run...

2010-09-28T20:50:00.000-04:00

The girls (including S) and I attended the Duck Tail Run in Gas City with Rob and Ally and my parents. It is quite an awesome car show. Rett stayed home and went shopping with her sisters. Regardless, I just had to share some sights from the show...

Laney immediately spotted this rat rod. My dad was pushing her in her stroller and she immediately wanted to show it to me. We went back and she wanted to pose with her favorite hot rod :)

Abby spotted this one from a distance. It is her favorite color...PINK!!! Here she is posing with her favorite hot rod.

I did not pose with this, but you have to admit, it is sweet!!!!

FLAMES!!!

PINSTRIPES

And more PINSTRIPES

You could actually qualify this event as an art show :) Next time, I think that is what we'll tell Rett so maybe she'll come along.

Thanks for stopping by to visit.

2010-09-27T11:31:00.000-04:00

UH-MAZING!

Yes, I know how to spell it, but I'm in awe...this weekend was UH-MAZING!

Our little eleven year old S is settling in and becoming one of us. She is getting into a routine and melting our hearts daily. I figure she's truly settling in because I sigh, grin, giggle, sing with, pray for, hug, get firm with, and roll my eyes at her at least once daily. Life couldn't be any sweeter.

S had a friend spend the night Friday night and it was really big fun. I told Tony before we brought Abby and Laney home that I couldn't wait until the girls' first slumber party. Their first sleepovers. I had plans...big plans of what we would do. I have such fond memories of having friends over and my mom making the time so special. Or, heading to one of my friend's houses full of excitement. I wanted to recreate that for Abby and Laney...and now, S. And I think we did. We sang in the kitchen (into whisks of course), and they taught me dance moves. They baked brownies and oogled over a neighbor boy who S is sure she's in love with now. :) They stayed up until 4:00 am (we were snoring they informed us) and got up early. They let me sleep in and fed Laney (Abby went with her Baba to pick up some tires.) I mean, could it get any better? We geocached all day, which all the girls love, and just had a fantastic day. We topped it off with church that evening (which S's friend came too!) Unbelievable. It definitely filled my heart up with joy. Now, the next time though, my neice Kristy is coming over and we'll party like it's 1999! hahah!

I wish I could share pictures...but alas, I cannot. Just know there were lots of smiling girls, both young and old. They weren't too cool to hang with us, OR with Abby and Laney. We just all had fun together!

I am still a roller coaster of emotions, because, simply put-fostering is hard. There are meetings, counselors, appointments, dos and don'ts a mile long. But would I trade this time with S and her family? Nope. Not in a million.

I'm going to kind of switch gears here. All the fun we had this weekend made me think about those who cannot or will not have that opportunity. WHICH, led me to thinking about my friend, Adeye's, blog. She has such a heart for the orphan. And the least of the least are her passion. She is sharing information about a little girl who is languishing in a crib on the other side of the world who needs rescued. She's raising Yulia's ransom and sharing about her in hopes that her family will come forward. The adoption is NEARLY paid for! PRAISE GOD! But can you help? Read her blog and pray about what you can do. Is Yulia yours? If so, email Adeye IMMEDIATELY! Yulia needs saved! If she's not, can you spare a couple of dollars to help her family-yet-to-be found bring her home? Hop over and read her latest three posts. You'll be changed. I promise.

Just Because

2010-09-21T11:33:00.000-04:00

Just because I need a cute kid fix, I thought I'd post pictures of the girls. My MIL took these when they were at her house recently. I uploaded them to Picnik.com and played with the features. I settled on HDR-ish because I like the cartoon quality with the silly faces.

Ok, ok, ON TO THE CUTENESS!

TOTALLY Newsworthy!

2010-09-20T12:16:00.000-04:00

While blog hopping...I stumbled upon THIS BLOG. OH MY WORD.

Read it.

Process it.

Then pray...I did.

THIS BLOG is WAY more newsworthy than my little bit 'o news below!

2010-09-20T12:05:00.000-04:00

Ok ok....for anyone who was actually wondering what I was talking about....

We have our first official "foster" daughter! YAY!

This is a big deal because this is the same child that was my student last year that started coming home with us once a week. She and her siblings (who are still at home with dad) spent a lot of time with us at the end of last year and over the summer. Unfortunately, we don't have the legal space for all of them. They're not in any danger per se (so don't email me) it was just a yucky situation where the youngest kiddo needed out. We'll call her S from now on. She's S because she's a STINKER! hahah. Not really. She's perfect. A little ornery, very pretty, funny, and smart, and just a great kid! She makes her bed, asks permission, AND wanted to learn how to do laundry last night! I know it won't last, but let this girl dream, ok?

THANK you so much for praying. We can now help S get back on track and be as successful as she deserves!

I'll keep you posted!

JUST what I needed.

2010-09-17T08:31:00.000-04:00

Psalm 59:16 (NIV) "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble."

This is the scripture from my daily devotional. God knew JUST what I needed. He loves me, he's strong, and my fortress.

But what I needed to hear more was that He is my refuge. And today, I needed to remember that.

Thanks for praying friends!

Whisper the Prayer a LITTLE Louder Please!

2010-09-15T22:45:00.001-04:00

Thank you for those of you who prayed for us today. I still can't reveal much but I can give you some of the ingredients in today's recipe.

1 dash of courtroom

Several sprinkles of tears

A pinch of fear

Mixed thoroughly with prayer.

Bake for two more days. See end result Friday late afternoon. Could be warm, toasty, with the aroma of love. OR, could be burnt, deflated, and moldy.

I'll update you as I can. Please continue to storm Heaven!!!

Whisper a prayer

2010-09-14T11:59:00.000-04:00

Yeah, God amazes me.

I am not going to say much...but we would LOVE your prayers tomorrow.

No, we're not adopting. But, it involves a kiddo.

No, it's not one of our kiddos. But, it's a kiddo we care a lot about.

So pray God's will be done tomorrow. Pray that Tony and I are ok with whatever God intends to happen.

Tomorrow could be really great. Really really great. Or..."Definitely not so great" to quote the girls.

PRAY please!

Funny, Funny Girls!

2010-09-10T12:38:00.001-04:00

Ok, there are some funnies I have to document so I don't forget them...and so they will have proper reasons to be mad at me when they're older!

Abby: She is one big snuggle bug. She's funny, clumsy, forgiving, caring, flexible, and just flat adorable. She's been showing a bit more of her opinions lately, which for now, I want to enourage. Usually, Laney just bowls right over her and leads the activity, story, or play time. But now, she's being a bit more assertive.

Future job for her at this point? She'll be a Mama and a missionary. I can feel it in my bones.

The other night, they were both on the couch because I was sweeping. (Quit looking so surprised! I DO sweep occasionally!) Anyway, they were giggling and wrestling and just having fun. Suddenly, Abby jumps down and comes running to me. She said, "Mama! Laney's THROWIN' ATTITUDE over there!" Bhahahwwhwhah! Never heard that one before, sweetness!

Laney: This chicka has become more attached as of late. She snuggles in, and seeks us out more than ever before! I'm soaking up every second. I would describe her as the dominate, loud, bossy, creative, artistic, beautiful child. Both girls are capable of all of these adjectives, but this is what we're seeing shine through most right now.

Future job for her at this point? CEO of her own fashion company.

We were en route to their gymnastics class the other night, and as I was getting off at the exit, we went over some rumble strips. The girls have named my car Ruby because she's red, and so Laney pipes up and says, "Ruby tooted! It's because she has a lot of GAS!" Bwhahahahaah! Clever girl!

No, she doesn't always talk about tooting, but when she did once in Ruby this week, she said, "I toot loud, but not as loud as BABA's!" I thought I would die!

Also, both girls have taken to saying, "That's definitely not great!" They say this if they mess up, or something is a mess, etc.

Thank you, Jesus for blessing us with laughter. It is a perfect salve for my soul.

I'll leave you with one funny school comment I had. We were talking about the author Roald Dahl. He wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, among other great books. I was showing some students a website on him when all of a sudden a child said above the others, "I thought he was dead!" Another student immedicately replied, "No, he's not dead, he's DUTCH!" ? Huh? I was so confused and we all laughed and laughed and laughed!

Ok, have a good weekend! Go laugh yourself silly!

Chicken Lips

2010-09-01T11:25:00.000-04:00

Going to admit something here...the girls wouldn't settle down for bed last night, so we separated them and brought Abby to bed with us. Well, after chatting with Abby for a few, I felt guilty that Laney was all alone in her bed, wide awake. So I yelled for her to bring her blanket and come sleep with us too. So yes, two adults, two four year olds, and two dogs were all in our room last night. All humans were in our queen sized bed and one dog is on the floor while the other is in his crate. And yes. This happens more often than not. Go ahead and criticize. I mean, my neck and back yowl in the morning from all of the funky positions I have to sleep in, but it is ~~sometimes~~ so worth it.

So anyway, we had just settled in and everyone was calming down. Next thing you know, Abby says, "Mama, I love you...(insert dramatic pause) Chicken Lips." I was just starting to get all misty, with warm Mama feelings when that Chicken Lips part came out. I thought I was going to roll off the bed from laughing.

Bwhahahahahahaah I was like, ok, sure. "I love you too, Chicken Legs!" Which brought about hysterical giggles from everyone but Baba and the dogs. They were all actually TRYING to sleep! BAH!

So tonight, after you say your prayers, night time routine says, and give kisses. Don't forget to tell the ones you love, "I LOVE YOU, CHICKEN LIPS!" It's sure to bring a smile and sweet dreams!

3rd Day in a Row of New Pictures...

2010-08-31T21:05:00.000-04:00

Yup, Tony again.

We still owe you all some pictures of our trip to Disney World. Above is one of the girls with the ever so popular Handy Manny.

Below are some random pictures of the girls cleaning out Rett's car. Believe it or not, they help me wash the car's exterior too (incluing using toothbrushes to clean the wheels!!). They are not complete girly girls yet :)

No building permit required...

2010-08-30T21:46:00.000-04:00

It's Tony again...

We did it once again, we've modified the girls' play structure to keep it interesting. This time we removed the rope ladder and enclosed the back. We added a door (which they love), enclosed the other side, added two shelves (they pretend like they're running a drive up window) and even added two tap lights. They love it. All for about $12.00 (and the priceless memories with them telling me how they wanted it built). Dad helped Sunday (Thanks Dad!) and we wrapped it up tonight (with the exception of paint/wood stain).

Thanks for visiting!

Saturday Night

2010-08-29T11:58:00.000-04:00

Laney loves hot rods!

Yes, we're (uh, Rett) way behind on blogging. We'll get you caught up soon.

Since I have a few spare moments (and just finished uploading pictures to our computer), I will post a few pictures, hopefully a few of you are still checking in from time to time. Enjoy - Tony.

Girls hanging out in the back of a rat rod at an awesome Saturday night downtown car show in a nearby community...

Cruising on the new trail last week...

No caption needed....

Have a good day.

Three Years Ago

2010-08-24T12:30:00.000-04:00

I lied to you. I'm sorry. I haven't been back with Disney pics, or updates of any kind. The summer ended, school started, and life took a turn. A couple from our home group/bible study group, and good friends of ours, lost their seven month old son. He was having heart surgery when a technician made a life ending mistake. To say I am grieving is an understatement. Sweet Tressel, aka Mr. T, is now in the arms of Jesus smiling his big grin down on us. He's whole. He's complete. And we're left here. Sarah posted more about it on her blog. I just couldn't bring myself to. Sweet boy.

However, Tressel's death has changed many people. More are praying. More are returning to church. And more are seeking Jesus. His death was not in vain.

And that cutie, Tressel, and his wonderful scrapbooking mommy, Emilie, remind me to cherish each moment. Not only to cherish it, but to document it. I have to. For my daughters. For my family. For me. Emilie is a gifted scrapbooker and has Tressels short seven months marked in pictures and musings. I owe my girls that...so I'm back. To blog. To document. In honor of Tressel.

Back to the title of my post. Three Years Ago....today, we saw pictures of our daughters for the very first time. Tony got the call while driving home from a meeting out of town. You can read about the whole event HERE.

WOAH. What a day that was!

These are some of the pics we first saw...

Ohhh, these sisters. My heart was across a pond in China! I had never seen them before that moment, but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt they were ours! And Laney STILL makes that face today. It's when she's thinking of something ornery to do. Plotting, we'll say. And Abby STILL looks sad when she's sitting all alone. She prefers to be snuggled with someone!

Sweet and sassy girls they are! Last night, Laney woke up crying and said she had a bad dream but couldn't recall it and couldn't seem to settle down. I had her in our bed and settled down next to her. She drifted back to sleep rather quickly and her soft snores began. As I looked at her sleeping face and listen to the breath of life, I thanked God that I was the one who got to see peace across her face after an unhappy dream.

Round two was Abby. She started whimpering and crying. She had a bad dream too, just minutes after Laney's. Weird since she had NO idea that Laney had a bad dream. I went in to calm her down. She wouldn't get back under the covers and relax, so she too, headed to our bed. As she settled, I just snuggled in next to her. I rested my nose on her arm and felt the warmth and smelled her sweet scent. I thanked God he chose US to be the ones to comfort them in the night.
It might sound cheesy to some of you...but Tressel reminded me to reflect on my girls. Reflect on the life God blessed me with. Reflect on His goodness. So I am.

I hope to take pictures of the girls holding their referral pictures tonight so you can see the differences now. Three years of Jesus, love, nutrition, family, laughter, hugs, whispers of affirmation, stories, and dreams have made them into beautiful children.

Thank you, God!

AARGH!

2010-07-22T13:20:00.000-04:00

I'll just jump right in...we had to get a new computer because our laptop was WAY outdated and wasn't working at all. After getting all pumped to get it, the stupid keys wouldn't work. About every fifth letter wouldn't show up. Talk about frustration!

Sooooo, we had to take it back yesterday. They gave us a whole new computer. I'm so glad we hadn't loaded all our pictures, etc on it! BUT, that explains why I haven't posted pictures from Disney yet. I don't want to upload them here either, until we know this one will work.

Please just bear with me! I'll try not to be MIA for long!!

EEEERRRRTTT. That's the sound of brakes.

2010-07-06T14:27:00.000-04:00

Woah, I thought I'd come back to the sound of crickets! You're still with me family!!! I'll be on more often, I promise!!!

It sounds like the "Nearly a Family of Seven" was the popular choice so I wrote a post about that. Then, I sent it to Tony who, like usual, thought about it and thought maybe we should protect the kiddos privacy a little better. I mean, My post was cryptic, but not so cryptic I could just put it out here for the world to read.

I DID, however, email some of you the post I wrote. Those of you who didn't get an email from me, but left a comment you wanted to know what was going on...well...I couldn't find your email easily.

Email me at tonyandrett at aol dot com and let me know you want the story, and I'll send it your way.

Sorry to disappoint...but their privacy comes first. I totally forgot how many people in our local community reads this blog! And a few of my students! Yikes! Good thinking, Tony.

So it looks like on to Disney pictures later this week! :)

Love you all! Thanks for being so supportive!!!!

Your Call--If Anyone is Still Out There

2010-07-05T20:43:00.000-04:00

WOW. We pretty much dropped off the face of the planet. But not without good reason. Below is a list of what has been going on. Here is where you come in. Which do you want to hear about first?

School is out for the summer
Safety Town
Vacation--Disney, Daytona
Computer Troubles
New car
Nearly a family of seven

Don't Look Before You Leap...PRAY!

2010-06-02T14:25:00.001-04:00

Wow. I have such sweet friends. I already knew I did, but I got a FB message asking if everything was ok since I hadn't blogged. So sweet.

Yes, we're all alive and kicking. We're working on our relationships with God, finishing up school, trading cars, gearing up for our Disney our vacation, losing a cell phone, and, well, other things. Things I can't write about yet. Things that will impact our family. Things that could be so stinkin' good. But things I can't share about yet. (I know, I know, you hate me.)

One thing I CAN share is that God so abundantly spoils me. Last night, in a moment of desperation, I cried out to Him. I begged him to reveal His plan. To show us EXACTLY the path He wants for us. We're idiots, we need it in black and white. I often joke that I wish He'd just send me an email or text.

Well, email was His communication tool today. This morning, while at school, I got an email that made me sit right up and pay attention. This email includes some of that secret info, but lest you be confused, it was the answer I needed. Because of what will happen as a result of this email, our path has been perfectly laid out.

Then, just because I am thick in the head, I read a blog post that cemented what He was saying. Yes, friends, God uses blogs to speak to us.

God didn't have to answer me. He didn't have to make His answer so abundantly clear and answer so abundantly fast. But God is good like that. Every single time I have been at the end of my rope...in tears...in anguish...yelling for Abba, my Father, to answer...He does. Not one minute sooner, but right when I need it most. Kairos...His QUALITY of time. Not quantity. I don't deserve His love.

Sorry for being so cryptic. Just know, we are at the height of all the chaos that will be this summer. Pray for us if we come to mind. Pray we're good stewards of what He's blessing us with. Pray for guidance and direction. And pray that we are diligent to thank Him for His blessings.

By the way...the cutie with the short hair is ABBY! She wanted it cut, so we did it. And she looks ADORABLE. Everyone says they can tell them apart now! It's too bad I'm at school and don't have a forward facing picture to show you. I'm sorry!

Any guesses?

2010-05-12T11:15:00.000-04:00

Any guess as to which wonderful daughter of mine decided to get her hair cut? She was tired of it getting in her face. She wanted it short like Mama's, but not too short like Baba's.

Which one went from this...

To this...

(This is Jill...our fantastic beautician.)

So, which one has made it LOADS easier on the world to be able to tell them apart?

Abby or Laney?

MIA and gnomes!

2010-05-07T12:40:00.001-04:00

Yes, we've been MIA.

Yucky, emotional week last week.

Strep this week.

So, I'm once again, trying to post something fun.

Sarah's giveaway blog has some awesome prizes right now! The most recent is an ADORABLE fairy or gnome door. Can they use the same door? As a child, my nieces and I would have loved having one of these attached to our house or tree outside. OH the creative stories we would have made up!

So, go ahead and check out her giveaway. Check out the Etsy shop. Just DO NOT ENTER her giveaway. heheh, I want to win!

Gotta smile...

2010-04-29T11:19:00.000-04:00

It has been a week...one I choose not to relive.

So, with that being said, I wanted to blog about something fun!

Sarah is doing a GREAT giveaway on her blog right now! They're PoppyDip dresses!

Renee, Nikki, and Jennifer...you're SO going to want one for the girls!!!

Check it out!

Cleaning, with a purpose!

2010-04-21T11:34:00.001-04:00

SHOOOOO....life is nuts right now!

We have a homestudy visit scheduled for Monday to renew our foster care license! We have been cleaning like mad every day for a week! I actually emailed our social worker and asked, "Do you have to actually SEE the laundry room? It's a wreck!" She wrote back and said she did need to see it, but not to meticulously clean. So I take that as a green light to leave some clothes in the hamper, and some on the floor, if necessary. I'm just saying.

I'm shocked at how nervous I am! This is our, um, third homestudy visit. (One for the China program, one for our initial foster care license, and now this one.) Why am I so freaked?

--------------

About a million moons ago, I mentioned that one of my students would be coming home with me. Well, she has been riding home with me on Tuesday nights for over a month now. She has also gone with my family to the children's museum in Indy. AND, she has spent the night with us a couple of times on the weekend. So how is it going, you ask? It's wonderful!!!! We are really enjoying getting to know her on a different level. The girls adore her. And she is very respectful and caring in our home!

Well, last night, the honeymoon was over and she tested me a bit. But, honestly, I was so glad she did. She now trusts us enough to let her guard down. She flat out told me she did some things just to see how I would react, or what I would say. I think that's healthy progress! I'm actually very happy about it. It wore me out, but psychologically, it was such a good step.

Where is this going, you ask? I have no idea. But what I do know is that Tony and I adore her. Our girls adore her. She has met everyone in both sides of our family and everyone sees how well we all mesh. It is a great situation. We pray steadily for her and with her. (She even asked her sister to pray before bed the other night! Yippee!!) And every time I think about what the future might hold for she, and her siblings as well, I hear God clearly whisper, "Just be in her corner for now. She needs you in her corner." So for now, that's what we're doing. And we're happy to do it. Does it give us gray hair? You bet. Would I trade it? No way.

I'm so glad that once again, when God called us to do something...to step out in faith...we said yes. Obedience is never easy, whether your two or 102. But, it is oh so worth it to please God. And we're being stretched, challenged, and blessed all because of it!

What has God called YOU to lately? Have you said YES?

Philippians 4:6-7
⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Spoiled Brat!

2010-04-16T08:58:00.000-04:00

I've explained many times before on this blog how I am the baby of my family. I am the youngest, and by default, the most spoiled.

My sisters and brother often complained I got more and got to do more. My nieces and nephews would whine because I would tattle on them when we were all little (we're very close in age) and they would always get in trouble. Yeah, it wasn't pretty, but that is the truth.

Well, last night I was downstairs folding towels. As I began folding, I was chatting with God. And I got to thinking. (DO NOT thrash me here...I was young and dumb) When I still lived at home with my parents, I remember I would use two towels per shower. I would use one for my hair, and one for my body. I would put those in the hamper afterward, and use two new ones for the next shower. *GASP* It was ridiculous! Once I started doing my own laundry, that certainly stopped!

Anyhow, that further cemented into my mind that I really was spoiled. My mom and dad would just do the laundry and never say anything to this princess. And I never did one single load of laundry. How insensitive and ridiculous was I? That was just one of the many ways my parents spoiled me. (Thank you mom and dad, I love you!)

And then I got to thinking about how my Heavenly Father spoils me too. I can be such a BRAT to Him. I can be selfish and demand answers to my prayer. I can cry out at the injustices of the world and beat my fists on His chest. I can fill my schedule with junk, yet never schedule time alone with Him. And through it all, He loves me. He unconditionally loves me. I did nothing to deserve it. He still heaps blessings upon blessings on me. He still listens to my pleas and holds me when I cry. He carries me when I am weak, and celebrates victories alongside me.
Thank you, God, for spoiling me. For loving me through all my faults. I love you!

Am I the only spoiled brat in the house?

I blame dry skin.

2010-04-14T12:18:00.000-04:00

Want a peek into my mind? Here was my train of thought today...

I was driving to school this morning, enjoying the gorgeous day. As I was driving, I was wondering if I brought lotion since I ran out of time to put it on this morning. This led me to think about how dry my skin gets. THEN, my train of thought went to, "You know, I won't ever have a biological child. He or she will never have to deal with the possibility of getting my trait of super dry skin, among other horrible traits." It's weird how that infertility demon will appear out of no where.

Well, then (yes, bizarre jump here) but I got to thinking about historical times where women were judged by their fertility (yes, I know, they're STILL judged). And that led to me thinking about a simulation I did back when I worked AmeriCorps. We took part in a simulation set during times of slavery. We walked to the Levi Coffin house (huge abolitionist) and took on the roles of slaves. We were being bought and sold according to physical attributes.

I distinctly remember one slave owner (guy in costume who yelled a lot) looking at me and saying, "I want her. She's got good birthing hips. She'll give us lots of babies. More farm hands." I wasn't offended in the least because I was totally caught up in the role. It was super emotional and humbling.

Well, fast forward back to this morning. On my drive, I honestly got to thinking about what my life would be like if I couldn't have produced any babies for them. *shivers*

Regardless of what anyone says, I believe those who cannot or choose not to have biological children are still totally judged today. People look at me differently because my children are not biologically mine. People assume a lot of things. And the pain is real.

Childless couples often feel as though they haven't received a membership into the "Parents Club" and have to stand outside the circle and just watch. Families fall apart due to infertility and these issues. It's real, and it's ugly. (It's still not as ugly as being shunned by your tribe/family, beaten, or killed because of it--all of which happens worldwide.)

My conclusion? Infertility (or not being able to have biological children) just sucks. There's no way around it. It feels totally unfair to those who are affected by it. But I'm preaching to the choir to some of you.

After my hysto this past summer, I had to come to grips with the fact that I will never even have the option to give birth to a child. I grieved it in July, again in August, and September, and October...you get the idea. But it wasn't until several months later that I really had a breakdown about it all. I thought I had gone off the deep end. But, I needed to really truly grieve it, and I did. Am I over it? Today, right this second, I'm ok with it. But tomorrow, I might not be, who knows?

But I'm one of the lucky ones. God saw a bigger picture. My daughters. My life. Abby and Laney. He knew what I did not. He knows the end of my story, THANKFULLY!

I wouldn't take back any of the heartache, pain, prayers, and tears. If taking any of that back would change the course of my life, I wouldn't take them back. I am who I am supposed to be. Where I'm supposed to be. With my daughters and my husband. Living a life dedicated to God. Striving toward obedience. All thanks to some sperm and eggs being socially inept.

Which all leads me to thinking about how blessed I am that international adoption was an option for us. It soon, might not be an option for others.

I'm scared to death that recent stupid decisions made by an adoptive family (TN woman sending her son back to Russia with just a note) will affect the future of adoption. It will negatively impact the lives of orphans worldwide. That heartless move could be forever known as, "The child sent 'round the world" (play on the shot heard round the world). Governments worldwide tend to already be shifting as far as adoption goes. What message does this ridiculous action send them? All it takes is one bad apple...

So it's our turn to pray. Pray for government officials that are a part of the adoption arena. Pray their hearts are softened and that they don't lump all adoptive families together and associate them with this bad apple. Pray for orphans worldwide that may not ever know the love of a family. Pray for the childless couples that long to love a child and may not have that opportunity to because of this situation.

Pray first. Then follow the directions in the post below this one. It's important that you take action!

There you have it. Welcome to my train of thought. Pretty deep for a Wednesday morning.

TAKE ACTION!

2010-04-13T12:15:00.000-04:00

TAKE ACTION!

One disgusting move on an adoptive family's part could impact the future of adoption.

Click the following link to read and take action for orphans worldwide! Do not rely on someone else to do it! The face of adoption depends on us to TAKE ACTION!

By the number

2010-04-06T12:49:00.000-04:00

10--the number of minutes until my lunch break is over.

2--the number of daughters I have and adore.

3--the number of days left until this week is over.

210--approximate number of orphans worldwide.

1--more artery surgery for my mom.

1--delicious Payday candybar I just ate.

2.5--years since we became a forever family.

41--days left of school.

2--weeks I will work at Safety Town this summer.

81--days until we leave for DisneyWorld! (Shhh, the girls do not know it yet!)

18--days until my nephew gets married!

1--Husband whom I love very much!

25--newly widowed women in the West Virginia Mine tragedy.

2--days until my sister has surgery on her shoulder.

2--the number of points Butler lost by. :(

3--the number of angels in the Ukraine that are getting to know their families.

765-the number of pounds I need to lose before said Disney trip. (Yeah, yeah, I ate a Payday, I know)

Ridiculously long post coming soon

2010-04-05T08:50:00.000-04:00

Ok, with spring break and Easter, I have been HORRIBLE about posting! However, Tony finally uploaded the billions of recent picutres we have and so, expect a ridiculously long post or posts to show up this week!

My comments have dwrindled to like two, and that's just pathetic! I need to get back at this!

The Lord is RISEN!

He is RISEN indeed!

LOVE IT!

2010-03-28T18:41:00.000-04:00

Did you see my header? Isn't it ADORABLE? I LOVE IT! My sister-in-love, Allyson, designed this in a matter of hours! She has some major talent! She and her hubby just got this program and she has already mastered it. Ally said she could make others to switch out. I just love it! It makes me smile, for sure!

My spring break is over :( but it will be a short week. My mom has surgery Tuesday (PLEASE PRAY!!!!!) and then we have Good Friday off. I'll be back to post more! I want to do a post about cooking with your kids, my mom's surgery, and the girls' new room! Lots to talk about! Stay tuned!

Have a great week!

LOVE my cute girls-turned-cartoon! Love it!

My cutie

2010-03-22T15:00:00.000-04:00

Want to see a picture of one of my cuties in her new shirt? Well, you're going to have to CLICK HERE. While you're there, register for the giveaway. Trust me, the shirts are to. die. for!

CLICK HERE!

Three Posts in Three Days????

2010-03-18T13:38:00.002-04:00

Today, we had a FUN field trip to a local high school that has a hydroponics lab. They were growing GORGEOUS tomatoes and the biggest healthiest looking lettuce I have ever seen!
This is a sample of what the set up looks like. It is entirely run by high school students. They sell the produce to keep it up and running! It was awesome!
They also raise Tilapia through their animal science classes. They have these massive tanks of fish. Mr. Redden, the ag teacher, said they had nearly 3.000 fish. One of the tanks was an old cottage cheese/dairy tank...reused!

They even showed how to fillet a fish. The kids were appropriately grossed out. But the group I was with, included some daredevil boys who wanted to touch the eyeball, gills, and all the other internal parts. It was lovely. Ha!

Finally, we went into a classroom and talked about all that we had seen. Being the ultra cool teacher he is, he brought out dried mealworms. Then, in Fear Factor style, he offered a mealworm to anyone who wanted one! The kids looked at me to see what I'd do. Well, like any good fifth grade teacher, I took one and popped it in my mouth! It was crunchy and disintegrated into dust. It was a bit spicy because they were seasoned like corn nuts. Hmmm, come to think of it, they tasted like corn nuts!

He proceeded to offer crickets too, but I declined. Enough protein for one day.

I know, random post, but it was such a cool trip! I'm looking forward to going back and buying some of that produce!

So...would you have tried the mealworm?

Stuff...

2010-03-17T13:03:00.001-04:00

Here I go with my numbered lists...

1. Thank you for the comments yesterday. I'm so thankful I don't walk alone in my struggle. I'm also so thankful I serve a forgiving God. I'm working on it.

2. Have I told you...lately...that I love you? Ok, bad song reference aside, I really do love you all. You have such open hearts. You're such good friends. I love that you'll listen/read and encourage/challenge me. LOVE YOU!

3. Note to self: get a second job to support Etsy habit. No, make that a second job to support Sarah habit who supports her Etsy habit.

4. One of my students came home and hung out with us last night. It was a great experience (for both parties, I think). She wants to come back and spend some time with us again! The girls loved her and she fit right in with us. She gagged when I showed her guacamole. Poor girl has never seen or heard of it. She about flipped. The girls dug right in and she literally gagged! I told her if she is going to hang with us, she'll have to try some new foods. She looked like that might be the deciding factor on coming back! Haha! Such a sweet girl who is naive in so many ways, and yet she has been exposed to far too much for a fifth grader.

5. Note to self: lose weight. I could barely button my pants today. Yikes. (Yes, I heard you, it COULD be the guac that is making me fatter!)

6. Tony is sick, poor guy. Allergies. They are directly from the devil!

7. The girls are learning about Jesus. They want to know when they get to go to Heaven. Laney told me she prayed and asked Jesus to come into her heart (hold the applause) but she didn't see Him go there, so it must not have worked. hahahah! So she's getting there, but not quite. She'll understand soon. They were able to tell us about the crown of thorns and Jesus carrying the cross. One more reason I'm so thankful they're going to a private christian school. (And yes, I'm a public school teacher saying that.)

8. I only have two more days until spring break. Can I get a woot woot!

9. We have homegroup tonight. So glad to learn about God with some of my bestest buddies.

10. I still have orphans on the brain. I'm praying for, asking for, begging for direction on how I can change the face of God's kingdom through orphan care. What is my role? Where does He want me? What should I be doing more of? Where does God see us in five, ten, twenty years in relation to orphans?

Ok, that's all I've got. Just had to spill my brain!

Hypocrite!

2010-03-16T12:17:00.000-04:00

I'm a fake and a phony. I can recite scripture. I can encourage others with God's words. I can comfort others with God's promises. But when it comes to me...my life? All bets are off.

With my mom's recent illness, I have been challenged. She was so very sick. She was literally, at death's door. Many didn't realize that. I didn't want to acknowledge it, so I didn't share that fact. It was during this time that I would lean in and tell Mom that God had her in His lap, but when I'd lean back I would hear in my subconscious, "Really? Do you truly believe that?"

There were many times when I would sing praises to Him. I would be shaking with joy over her progress. But it seemed (and sometimes still does seem) that she will take a few steps forward and one step back. It was as if I'd barely be finished thanking God for His latest miracle in her, and she'd take a turn for the worse. Or my dad would get sick. I knew satan was at work. Taunting me. In my head, his lies sound a bit like how Yoda speaks.

"Trust God, you will?

Thank Him for what?

Still in the hospital, isn't she?

Just when you thought your GOD had healed her, she fell ill.

I will hit you where it hurts.

Your family.

I will challenge how you think you feel about God."

I would lie in bed at night during those rough days (if I'm being honest, even this past weekend) and begged God. Pleaded with Him. He can move mountains! Why can't He heal her once and for all? How could he let my dad get sick too? My mom needs him! My dad needs her! Oh, friends, I'm being from-the-gut real here. I accused God. I told Him that I thought I served a mighty God. I was so angry with Him. With the whole situation.

Two steps forward and three steps back does no good for the psyche, you know?

Yes, scripture says praise Him in all things. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And I tried. Oh, how I tried. I would praise Him that she was still living. I would thank Him for gifting the doctors with amazing skills. I would be so grateful that I could walk this road with siblings. How terrible it would have been to be an only child and facing this!

But my heart. I would scream inside my head. My heart would pound, and break, and race, and stop. Where was this God that I told others about? The loving, merciful, great healer? Was it all a sham?

Was I a fake Christian? Who was I to say that I am a child of God? Good grief, times got rough and I split. What a good daughter to the King I am. No wonder non-Christians think we are the biggest hypocrites! At this point, I was the QUEEN of Hypocrites!

There were times in our adoption journey that I wondered where God was. But a wise pastor told me about Kairos. That chapter in our lives was more about patience and waiting on God. It was about seeing His picture for our lives, instead of my own. This time was different.

Maybe this post today is a place where I can...

JUST. BE. REAL..

I am weak.

I stumble.

I question.

I wonder.

I cry.

I worry.

I wait.

I learn.

I grow.

I change.

I challenge.

I am.

Mom's journey to wellness is certainly not over. She and dad have to learn their "new normal" as far as living goes. They need to work on making a lot of things stronger...her legs, her body, their bond, their relationship. They will be challenged. I will be challenged.

I am just praying now that God prepares my heart. That this last round of spiritual calisthenics strengthened my spiritual muscle so much that when the next valley appears on the horizon, I won't be tempted to jump ship. I'm praying I will stand strong on all those promises I KNOW to be true. We DO serve a mighty God. One whose heart breaks for what breaks ours. I need to train. To fill my heart and mind with scripture. To revisit my Memorial Box posts where I have evidence of God's faithfulness.

And I'll need your prayer. Stand beside me in prayer. Don't judge me. I'm human. I falter. Just pray that I'm stronger next time, because we all know there will be a next time.

Thanks for letting me be transparent.

LOVE IT!

2010-03-12T11:34:00.000-05:00

OH MY STARS, I LOVE SARAH'S GIVEAWAY BLOG!

Right now, she has the coolest necklaces as a giveaway! I've been wearing a jade necklace since we were in China and the thread is getting more and more fragile. I wondered if I would replace the thread, or replace the necklace. I think I have found my answer! These hand stamped necklaces are awesome!

Check out SARAH'S GIVEAWAY BLOG or the Etsy shop BITTY CLIPPIES for some awesome jewelery!

But don't enter the giveaway...hahahahah. I WANT TO WIN!

Very Thankful Thursday

2010-03-11T12:15:00.000-05:00

Ever have one of those days where there is a long road ahead, but for today...for right now...you want to burst with joy? Today is that day for me. There is a lot of pain (physical, spiritual, and emotional) happening in the lives of some people I love. But, I have SO seen God at work and want to sing Him praise!

My mom is being released from the hospital TOMORROW at 10:00 am! She has to continue working hard at home, but I believe in her! God has been working in her in MIGHTY ways!
Sunshine!
Our 11th anniversary is Saturday!
Spring Break is six school days away!
A student of mine will be spending Tuesday evenings with my family starting next week. I'll share more about this on a later post, but for now, praise God her foster mom and my wonderful hubby both thought this was a good idea! I'm preparing to be challenged and blessed!
My daughters are learning in leaps and bounds!
Flip flop season is just around the corner!
Our homegroup met last night and it was SO good! It was emotional, and challenging, and I am SO blessed to be a part of that group. I love each and every member!

GOD IS SO GOOD...He's so good...good to me!

Are you thankful? Really really thankful? Ok, for what? TELL ME!

You've Gotta Bid!

2010-03-09T08:16:00.000-05:00

Help Adeye and her family rescue TWO, yes, TWO adorable children! God chose them to parent two angels with Down Syndrome, Hailee and Harper!

CLICK HERE to find their auction and bid! They are very close to their goal!

Just think, YOU can change the face of God's kingdom by helping this family. YOU can have an impact on a little life that needs saving! YOU can unite a family and bring hope to these little girls. YOU can bring them one step closer to their daughters, and the girls one step closer to a forever Mommy and Daddy!

CLICK HERE! You won't regret it!

Man of Steel!

2010-03-08T10:26:00.000-05:00

So do any of you read "Adoptive Families" magazine? I really like the information they provide. Well, I had lost my latest issue for a few days and wondered where it went. When I finally found it, I opened it up to start reading. I always start with the reader's comments and "Thumbs-Up" and "Thumbs Down" page. Imagine my surprise when I started reading a comment written, and it started like this..."We met our twin daughters when they were 22 months old." I was like, HUH? NO WAY! We did too! That's wild.

So I read another sentence, then skipped to the reader's name and it was ME! Bwhahahahah! I had submitted a comment but didn't think it'd get published. I was giddy! Finally! I'm published! hahahaah. Mind you, I have always dreamed about getting published in magazines. I've written several articles, but always denied. So, when I called my dad and told him that my comment was in there, he was like, "YAY! You're published!" Sweet man. My parents share that same dream with me. They hope to see my name in print some day. God-willing, some day they will, and it won't be a measly comment!

OK, moving on...that had nothing to do with the post title. Just a side note! Anyway...

I need your help. As you saw from my (obviously too long according to Sarah) list about my sweet hubby, our 11th anniversary is coming up. I looked it up, and traditionally, it said steel is the material the gift should be made of. Now, we don't usually follow this or anything, we're just trying to be affordable and creative this year. So steel. Steel? Really? Uh, weird.

I looked up a site w/ steel gifts and there are some pretty creative things. Like, a steel woven wallet. Steel rings. But they're all ridiculously priced. So then, I was thinking, how about something Superman. I mean, after all, the guy in tights IS the Man of Steel, right? And he shares a lot of characteristics with my husband. Well, all except for the tights. Tony doesn't do tights.

But I just can't settle on anything. So, I need some help! What do you think? Are any of you the creative type? What should I get him? (He probably won't read this, because he only reads it when he posts, or when I direct him to it to read.)

So thoughts? Seriously. HELP ME!

NEWMAN!!!!

2010-03-05T13:06:00.003-05:00

Did you know that I love my husband? I do. A thousand percent love him. But, you, bloggy friends, don't really know Tony like I do. Ahem, not that I want you to! :)

Next week is our 11th anniversary. I wanted to write a post about him today in order to free up the time for him to write a mushy loving post about ME next week. Did you read that honey? I'll get my post about you all out of the way, so you will have time to write, edit, tweak, and gush in a post about me next week. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA. Not likely.

Anyway, I DO love my man, and thought I'd let you get to know him a little better. I KNOW it will make you want to peek over at his NEW BLOG when you're done!

Facts about Tony:

He loves God. Even in high school everyone knew where Tony stood.
The skaters in high school called him Jesus. It was said with respect.
He has mad love for cars.
His first car was a 1969 Nova.
He taught me how to drive a stick in a different Nova.
That nova was lovingly referred to as, "The Turd". I don't need to describe the color do I?
He used to own yet, an entirely different Nova. (That's three if you've lost count)
He still owns the first Nova.
He also now owns a Nova station wagon. Well, WE own that one. She's my baby. We named her Bulah. (So he's owned four Novas so far)
He has a younger brother (also talented artist) and sister-in-love that we adore.
He has been and is the youngest member of our church board.
Tony is a gifted artist. I mean, beyond gifted. He just doesn't have the opportunity to use this gift often.
Tony is way creative.
He saves parts from broken or disassembled things. You know that weird bolt thingy that came off that spring thingy that was attached to that rod thingy? Yeah, he kept all three when we threw the big thingy away. AND, he has probably found uses for them all!
He is wild about his daughters. He calls them "baby" which makes me melt.
He LOVES Seinfeld. Giddyup. No more needs to be said. (Get the post title yet?)
Hate to admit it, but we both love Two and a Half Men. We laugh until we cry.
He digs any movie with Clint Eastwood.
He knows more about city, county, and state government than most people do.
He learned serious work ethic from his parents who owned a service station for many years.
He does oh, 95% of the housework (according to HIM).
He "gets" politics and some strong opinions about it. The current president infuriates him.
He is probably one of the smartest people I know.
He LOVES Jeeps. We have three. (Wrangler, Cherokee, and 4-door Wrangler) Used to own a different Jeep (Liberty).
He rolls his eyes when I tell him I am ready to adopt again.

WOW. Ok, so maybe that was more than you needed to know. But it's easy to talk about him. We've been together for nearly 20 years. I honestly could have written dozens more, but I won't. :)

ANYWAY (Note, I did not say, ANYHOO-I HATE that. HUGE pet peeve, I'm just sayin')....to have a creative release (since he works in government), he started his own blog! Please take a minute to head over there and leave a comment. Ooooh, and if you would become a follower, I am sure he'd be pumped!

Like I said, he's all about cars, but I'm hoping he'll put some of his artwork on there too. He has serious talent. And he is a great writer, so the blog should be pretty great.

Thanks for listening to me rave about Tony. I adore him! I'm SO thankful that Jesus created us for one another. Happy anniversary, Tony! I love you!

SO Thankful This Thursday!

2010-03-04T10:47:00.001-05:00

Satan is doing a number on us. On my family. On my friends. But, thankfully, I know who wins this battle in the end! WHOO HOO! Satan has NO hold on us! So, STEP, you vicious thing! (said with attitude and snapping fingers!) Jesus reigns here!

This Thursday, I choose to be thankful. My mom is healing. Her attitude and spirit is returning. She has a renewed sense of determination about her. She is committed to getting better. Oh, how I love that woman! And my dad has been her steady companion. He sleeps in her hospital room, nightly. He tends to her needs throughout the day. I love him, too!!!! THANK YOU, JESUS for sending me Godly, wonderful parents.

I'm thankful that there are only two weeks until spring break. You hear that Mother Nature? SPRING break. Give us a break, and give us SPRING! Sweet Abby has been itching to take walks and get out side and play. Laney just keeps asking, why is this winter such a long DAY? heheheh.

I'm thankful that Sarah is doing a giveaway blog. It's so fun to read the reviews and get a chance to win something!

I'm thankful for a husband that I adore. He does more than his half of the housework and kidwork. He loves me, even with my faults. He makes me laugh. He provides for us. He loves God. I would be lost without him.

I'm thankful I serve a MIGHTY God. He HEALS, PROTECTS, LOVES, CHALLENGES, BLESSES, KEEPS, and COMMANDS us.... You hear that Satan? So get to steppin'!

Blog Hop-Easy Peasy Appetizer

2010-03-02T08:57:00.000-05:00

Layered Cheeseball

I saw a recipe for a layered cheeseball in a magazine one time. It looked SO yummy, but for my family to eat it, I knew it needed a twist. You'll find that twist below.

1-brick cream cheese
1-small jar of marinated artichokes
1-small can of pitted black olives
1-small package of sundried tomatoes
Drizzle of olive oil
Coarse salt (optional)

Take dental floss and slice the brick of cream cheese lengthwise twice. You will have three layers. Take the top layer and place in on a plate. Roughly chop the artichoke hearts. Start with half a jar. Once chopped, place those on top of the first layer of cream cheese.

Place the second slice/layer of cream cheese on top of the layer of artichoke hearts. Roughly chop about half a pack of the the sundried tomatoes. Place those on top of the second slice/layer of cream cheese. Drizzle just a bit of olive oil on the tomatoes and then top with final slice/layer of cream cheese. Roughly chop half a can of the black olives. Top the final later of cream cheese with the black olives. Sprinkle the top with coarse salt. Serve with crackers!

Because you only used half of each of the ingredients, you could buy a second brick of cream cheese and do a second appetizer. You could substitute any of the ingredients for pine nuts, coarsely chopped basil leaves, green olives, etc. The possibilities are endless!

WHATEVER!

2010-02-26T12:10:00.001-05:00

The other day on the way to my sister's Abby was singing away in the back seat. She was making up songs and belting them out.

Her latest lyrics? "JESSSSUUUS....He died on the croosssssss! And He took our sins awaaayyy! And...........He............... gave us NEW ONES!!!!!" Bwahahahhaha! Of course we had a little chat. :)

Today, as we pulled out of the driveway, I heard the girls chatting and being silly. Then I heard Laney say, "Whateverrrr!" Total valley girl back there. I looked back and mentioned that they should use kind words and besides, she totally used it at the wrong time. (I'm just sayin')

So then, Abby says, "Yeah, you only say WHATEVER when you're really really mad, right Mama?" Stumble, sputter, stammer..."Um, well, we shouldn't really talk like that anyway. It's just not kind to say that to someone even if you're upset." HELLO! They watch and hear EVERYTHING! Obviously they have heard Tony and/or me use it when we've been angry. Yikes.

Any of you have little parrots who mimic your words and actions?

Beautiful Mistake

2010-02-25T14:04:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine, Adam Cappa, had his new cd come out a couple of weeks ago. It's called Love Driven. He is not only stinkin' adorable, he has a heart for God that rivals many I know. His talent is truly God given, and God centered.

Well, on his newest cd, he has a track called "Beautiful Mistake". That title alone drums up so many thoughts and images. Well, something happened this week that I consider a beautiful mistake. It won't mean a lot to some of you, but if your child is in public school, I hope it means something.

While I was filing away some practice worksheets, I stumbled upon a huge file that had some standardized tests from, oh, six years ago in it. I know, cleaning out files is a whole separate issue. Anyway, as I pulled out the tests, I started taking the staples out in order to shred them. I glanced down at the student's name on the top test. Immediately his face came to mind. And almost as instantly, I prayed for him. Then it struck me. I could just quickly go through and yank the staples out and move on, or I could purposefully take a minute and pray over each student. I hadn't seen them (or most of them) in forever, so I had no clue where they were in their lives. But I knew some of them needed prayer. No, all of them needed prayer, I'm sure.

It was SO nice to focus on talking to God about them, instead of my worries and concerns in my life. I lifted each one up and prayed for a variety of things. College, jobs, relationships, family, reputations, friendships, etc. With each prayer, I grew hungrier to pray more for them. Never shredding one random group of tests from six years ago was a mistake. It just worked out to be a beautiful mistake.

I pray over my students all the time without them knowing it. But it was nice to think back about this particular group and purposefully pray for them! May God bless them!

Who says teachers can't pray in school? Just try me. I do it all the time!

Giveway Site!

2010-02-23T09:51:00.000-05:00

Thank you all for praying for my mom. She had a heart cath and stint put in yesterday. It was a long, rough day. I'll update you as I learn more.

I wanted to focus on something happy for my tired brain, so I thought I'd blog about my friend Sarah's giveaway blog. It's called, On the Search for Hidden Treasure! She is a treasure herself, who is having fun reviewing products and also giving away many items!

You'll want to go check out her site. I mean, read the reviews and buy the products. But don't enter her giveaways. I WANT TO WIN! I'm just sayin'!

If you feel you MUST enter...let her know I sent you!

Praise Him!

2010-02-20T15:25:00.001-05:00

THANK YOU for praying for my mom, dad, and family during my mom's recent illness.

Picture taken December 2009

A HUGE PRAISE is that MY MOM DOES NOT HAVE CANCER and HAS NOT HAD A STROKE! Thank You, thank You, thank You, Jesus!

She is still in the hospital (admitted Thursday evening). She is fighting a NASTY virus and a uti. She has blisters inside her mouth. She is severely dehydrated and anemic. She has zero strength to stand. She is barely eating. She has lost 29 lbs in just over two weeks b/c she can't eat. It makes her super sick. She has two blocked arteries they're hoping to do surgery on soon, but not until she's stronger.

All that being said, the key word above is "fighting". For a while, we weren't sure that she was fighting anything but us. But she has promised me that she is NOT giving up. She is one sick girl. And honestly, it is the hardest thing seeing her this sick. She is supposed to be strong, ya know?

So, bottom line. Please keep praying. Obviously, she means the world to me. I want her spunky spirit back. I want her humor. But mostly, I want her deep sense of love and caring to come back. Right now, it's all on vacation. Please pray for her mind, body, and spirit. Please, please, please!

So that's why I've been MIA from the blog. I'm not sleeping much because I'm in worry mode all the time. And so when I'm home from work, I'm too tired to blog. So, even with the extreme amounts of cuteness that Tony posted on the last post, I can understand why we didn't get any comments. We have been missing for too long. I have to blog. I need this blog. I'll be back. (As long as I get a comment or two now and then!)

P.S. Doesn't the new background remind you of the Spirograph game/art set from the 80's? I remember LOVING that. I played with those little plastic wheel gadgets for hours making patterns. I love it!

Go Away Snow

2010-02-17T21:09:00.001-05:00

Greetings! It's Tony, so no deep thoughts, just pictures. I hope everyone is doing well. Below you will find a pictoral update of our recent happenings (most from this past weekend). Please enjoy.

Like most of the country, we have had snow and more snow! Here are the girls enjoying the first, of several, storms...

Last Friday night we decided to get away and spent the night at one of our favorite hotels to celebrate Chinese New Year and Valentines Day. Here are the girls posing in the hotel room.

We then met up with Robby and Ally and hit the World of Wheels car show in Indy Saturday (Rett humored me since it was Valentine's Day weekend). Here are the girls posing in front of their favorite car of the show. They prefer lowered 50's customs with louvered hoods and tuck and roll interior...not really, it was just a pretty pink car.

(P.S. - if you want to see more photos from the show, jump over to my new blog - http://www.tonyfoster2.blogspot.com/ )

This is what you do when you get bored at a car show...you find a nice pole that is holding up the roof and play hide and seek.

Here is Laney...being Laney.

Later that evening we found a real Chinese restaurant (not a buffet) in Indy. Here Abby enjoys some green tea before her meal.

Here is Laney enjoying her lo-mein noodles. The girls insisted on using chopsticks for this Chinese New Year meal.

Thanks for stopping in to check up on us.

SPAM

2010-02-10T20:47:00.000-05:00

I'm sick to death of getting spam messages to moderate. I'm doing the word verification for a bit to get rid of them!

The ONLY kind of spam I like, comes from a can! Do you like it too?

Btw, thanks for praying for my mom. Please pray without stopping! Pray that God renews her spirit and strength. Pray she finds the purpose and bravery within to take one step at a time and get better. Pray for total and complete healing! And pray for my dad too, please. For his wisdom, energy, and spirit.

Thank you, friends!

And just because it has been awhile since you have seen some sweetness...take a peek below!

Thankful Thursday

2010-02-04T12:16:00.000-05:00

What? Two posts in one week? Make that three, baby! I posted one our church's ministry blog yesterday!

So why today? Why this post? Well, honestly, because I need it. I need to be thankful. My head needs this post. My heart needs it. My soul needs it. And my God needs it.

First of all, friends, I am so thankful for you. I pour my heart out on this blog and you respect it. No, I don't have hundreds of followers. No, not everyone who reads this, comments. But you, the ones who chose to lift me up, thank you. You encouraged me so much. You encouraged my family. Trust me, your prayers have been felt. This week I needed you and your prayers, and you came through! Yes, both my "real life" friends, and those I've met in Bloggyland. Seriously. You guys mean a ton. I love that we "do" life together. We share our ups and downs. We praise Him and pray together as family. Cheesy schmeesy...I love you!

My mom gets to leave the hospital today which is bittersweet. It's good because she is over some of what put her in there, but bitter because there are other things they have found. It will be hard without a nurse to push her to do all she should.

Going home has also forced her to look at all the upcoming procedures and surgeries she'll need. It is simply overwhelming. It overwhelms me, I cannot imagine how she's feeling. But today, I choose to be thankful. My mom is alive and trying to get well today! God has been merciful and healed some things in her! I am thankful she had/has a team of doctors and nurses that truly care about her. They made her laugh. They made my dad and my family feel welcome. They encouraged and challenged her. And they were just nice people. Thank you, Jesus!

Just keep praying for her! The procedures start happening next week!

I'm thankful Sarah keeps letting us in on ways to win free stuff over on her blog! But don't go look and register, ok? Then you'll decrease my chances of winning!

Ok, the last thing I'm thankful for today is that the COLTS made it to the SUPERBOWL! WHOOO HOOO! I'll be glued to the TV Sunday, so don't call! hahahah! Bring home a victory, boys!

A Season of Change

2010-02-01T12:45:00.000-05:00

Seasons...it's one of the reasons I live where I do. I get to experience the crisp colors of fall (my favorite), the freezing snow of winter, the rainy newness of spring, and the sweltering heat of summer.

Well, I'm entering a new season here. And it's not one I enjoy. It's a season of growth. Of growing up. Of changes, fears, and hopes. It's the acknowledgement that my parents are getting older. Their bodies are made in the image of God, but they are human. No, they're not dying. But they're aging to the point I have to notice.

My mom has been sick and in the hospital. Her ailments are private and for her to share only. But let me say, it has been taxing. It has been hard on her body, mind, and spirit. It has been anguish for her family to see.

As I might have mentioned before, I am the baby of the family. My sisters and brother were annoyed because they thought I got away with everything. My nieces and nephews were close in age and grew tired of me being spoiled. And I was. I'll admit it. My parents made my life wonderful. Regardless of finances or family situations, I never had to worry about my next meal (My mom is a great cook...and I'm proof!). I never had to worry about hearing them bicker or worry. They kept that between themselves. They raised me to be proud of who I was. To never let my mouth say something I couldn't back up. They had nearly perfected parenting by the time they got to me. Goodness, I never even knew what political party they were because they wanted to raise me to be an independent thinker and formulate my own opinions.

Due to my idyllic upbringing, I tended to be an ostrich when it came to their illnesses and worries. My dad had open heart surgery several years back, and honestly, I cannot tell you a lot of details about it because I don't know them. I didn't want to know them. I liked living in my perfect world. And he made it through, so my world continued on. My heart hurts when I think about how much I missed out on by hiding my head in the sand.

Well, with my mom sick now, I've had to grow up. I have had to be an adult. Yes, it's time, but it's hard. Seriously hard. I had to stand up to a doctor (with my sister alongside me). Worse yet, I had to stand up to my mother. I had to see the pain in her eyes when I told her I disagreed with her. Hurtful words were said in and among my family. It broke my heart. It rocked me to the core.

There is still some of that little girl in me though. This past week, every time I would go to pray, the words weren't there. It was like, I couldn't acknowledge that this was pretty serious. My mom and dad are my own personal superheroes sent by God. However, with the title of hero comes some pretty unrealistic expectations that we put on them. See, my parents aren't supposed to get sick. EVER. And if they do, it should just be a cold. Because a hero cannot be down for long. They have crime to fight and a world to save. I would sit there and look at God (through my prayers) and be at a loss. I couldn't pray. I mean, it was my mom, right? She would bounce back. She always does.

I would ask for prayers everywhere. I'd ask my co-teachers to pray, my friends on FB, my small group, my husband, my daughters. But for some reason, I just could not pray. Want the truth? I think it was because if I was honest enough with God that my mom was really sick than I would have to realize that myself. And I didn't want to. I wanted to go back to being an ostrich. It just isn't fair! My girls are young. She and dad have already had the opportunity to spoil their other grandchildren, and now great grandchildren. It was MY turn. MY girls deserve the time too! What if we adopt again? They should know their Granny! Selfish? Yes, but I'm being real here.

So here I am in this season of life. The season of reality where I begin to understand my superheros aren't immortal. They have weaknesses. They feel pain and hurt.

Yes, God already knows. He is just waiting for me to give it to Him. I am His daughter as well, and I know He doesn't want to see me in pain. But, oh the pain.

He and I will be having a long talk. I'll crawl in His lap and rest my head against His chest. I'll ask Him for more time. More love. More memories. I'll ask Him for strength and wisdom to do what's right.

Some days I still want to be an ostrich. But now it's time to step up and be more. It's my turn to be a superhero...a superhero for my parents. They have taught me well.

Another Abby-ism

2010-01-27T08:36:00.000-05:00

Just because I need a laugh today...Poor Laney is sick. I'm home with her.

The other night while walking through a store, Abby started singing. Not softly. Not sweetly. But with great gusto. The song? "LITTLE RED, BA-GOOSE! LITTLE RED, BA-GOOSE! LITTLE RED, BA-GOOSE BEHIND THE TRAIN!" She didn't know the next lines, so she just kept repeating these!

Do I need to translate? "Little red caboose. Little red caboose. Little red caboose behind the train, ain, ain, ain. Smoke stack on his back, back, back, back...rollin' down the track, track, track, track...little red caboose behind the train! Wooo Woooo!"

Goodness...I love these girls. They keep me in stitches!

Just a dream...

2010-01-25T10:36:00.000-05:00

Abby told me this morning that her bad dreams from a couple of nights ago could be found in Jesus's belly. Huh?

Ok, let me go back. She told us last night that the night before she had bad dreams about doctors. Which was probably true, she ended up sobbing in the night and we brought her to bed with us. So, she was really really nervous to go to sleep last night. She said she was afraid she'd have bad dreams.

We talked to her about it, and gave her some fun or funny things to think about while she was falling asleep. Then, before I left her room, I asked her if she would like for me to pray for Jesus to take the bad dreams away. She readily agreed. I prayed aloud to Jesus asking Him to take away her fears and replace them with joy. I mentioned some silly things that Jesus could put in her heart, etc. She settled down, and eventually fell asleep. She did, however whimper some in the middle of the night, so we brought her to bed with us again.

This morning, however, while she was getting dressed, she said, "Mama, my bad dreams are in Jesus's belly!" After my look of confusion, she said she didn't have any bad dreams so they must have went away and are now in Jesus's belly. I wonder if she meant lap? Like we lay our worries and concerns in His lap? Not sure, but it made this mama smile for sure this morning. Her joy at her peaceful dreams was certainly contagious!

Nothing earth shattering...but I wanted to share it nonetheless.

Got some other things mulling around in my brain...but I'll save those for another day. I'll try to add a pic of sweet Abby tonight from our home computer, too!

Quote

2010-01-20T12:30:00.000-05:00

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and proclaiming, "Wow, what a ride!!!"---Unknown

AMEN! I hope that's me! I hope I'm skidding in broadside, ready to meet Jesus! I pray I do whatever God calls me to do. And that I do it with a grateful heart.

God is good! And so are you, my friends. Thanks for the encouragment!

Gotta unload.

2010-01-19T13:25:00.001-05:00

My mom has been sick. Very, very sick.
A friend's daughter is in the hospital with pneumonia...she's just a preschooler!
Another friend is supposed to deliver her baby on Friday and they already know her son has a serious heart issue.
There was a massive earthquake in Haiti. Thousands dead.
A friend's father passed away this weekend.
We are relaunching the orphan ministry at church this weekend!
My heart is longing to adopt, but I haven't heard God clearly say where or when.
My girls are growing up at an alarming rate and it makes me sad.
Tony's Mamaw has been really sick and in the hospital.
I'm trying to lose weight, but I'm totally struggling.
I'm thinking and praying more and more about homeschooling. Not ready to discuss that, but I'm sure praying about it. Call it a dream, right now.
Debt.
Our country's leadership? *sigh* Enough said.
I want Tony to be happy, challenged, and blessed by his job. Not sure if this is the case.
I'm not a "focused" teacher right now.
I really want to go to Di*ney World.
Our laundry pile is beyond ridiculous. I mean it. It's like, call the TV show therapists in, high. Do I care? Not so much.
Blah, blah, blah...there's more...but that'll do for now.

Is it any wonder I don't sleep at night? That could also be the reason I don't blog. I have a whole lot in me, but it's too overwhelming to dissect right now.

Just had to pour it all out there. I know God reads blogs, right? So He'll see my heart.

I'm SO excited...and I just can't hide it...

2010-01-15T12:47:00.000-05:00

I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it...Ooooh Yeah!

God is moving the hearts of people in our congregation to adopt and be a part of orphan care! Can I get a WOOT WOOT? Little ones near and far are soon going to be finding out what it's like to be tucked in by a mommy and daddy! They will find out what it feels like to have someone kiss their boo-boos and whisper that Jesus loves them! Uh-mazing! I'm so pumped!

To help families get started, the orphan ministry at our church is getting back in full swing and could use your help. First of all, will you praise Jesus for hearts being changed and moved? Will you praise Him for challenging us? And will you pray for the ministry team and kiddos worldwide?

I'd love it if you checked out Project James 1:27. Become a follower! Let our church administration know that there are people passionate about orphans! Leave us a comment or question if you have one! Oh, and spread the word about the blog. We just want to see more children find their families and the love of Christ!

Ok, back to singing!

Photo Update

2010-01-10T16:26:00.001-05:00

Hello! It's Tony. I won't bore you with with the narrative...enjoy the pictures recapping the past 30 days or so.

Laney after opening gifts Christmas morning

Abby after opening gifts Christmas morning

Yup, after opening all the gifts, this is where we found the girls playing.

At the Indianapolis Children's Museum - the girls received a membership from Gigi and Papaw.

The girls running the Barbie Corporation (at the Children's Musuem)

Tony and Uncle Robby racing down the slide at the museum (with the girls).

We were glad the girls "needed our help".

Rett and Aunt Ally (and the girls) racing down the slide...they too were glad

the girls "needed help" down the slide.

The girls waiting to go downstaris to see their birthday presents...(they turned 4!)

The girls gift - updated dress up corner with new washer/dryer, mirror, some new dress up clothes and shoes...

SUPER ABBY - wearing her new cape

SUPER LANEY - wearing her new cape

Then to the Family Birthday party for the girls...it was cold out.

The girls and their cakes

Opening gifts

Then Christmas break, birthdays and the days off were over...back to the real world.

It snowed and got really cold.

I hope you enjoyed the pics. Thanks for checking in on us!!!