Stuff...

Here I go with my numbered lists...

1.  Thank you for the comments yesterday.  I'm so thankful I don't walk alone in my struggle.  I'm also so thankful I serve a forgiving God.  I'm working on it. 

2.  Have I told you...lately...that I love you?  Ok, bad song reference aside, I really do love you all.  You have such open hearts.  You're such good friends.  I love that you'll listen/read and encourage/challenge me.  LOVE YOU!

3.  Note to self:  get a second job to support Etsy habit.  No, make that a second job to support Sarah habit who supports her Etsy habit.

4.  One of my students came home and hung out with us last night.  It was a great experience (for both parties, I think).  She wants to come back and spend some time with us again!  The girls loved her and she fit right in with us.  She gagged when I showed her guacamole.  Poor girl has never seen or heard of it.  She about flipped.  The girls dug right in and she literally gagged!  I told her if she is going to hang with us, she'll have to try some new foods.  She looked like that might be the deciding factor on coming back!  Haha!  Such a sweet girl who is naive in so many ways, and yet she has been exposed to far too much for a fifth grader.

5.  Note to self:  lose weight.  I could barely button my pants today.   Yikes.  (Yes, I heard you, it COULD be the guac that is making me fatter!)

6.  Tony is sick, poor guy.  Allergies.  They are directly from the devil! 

7.  The girls are learning about Jesus.  They want to know when they get to go to Heaven.  Laney told me she prayed and asked Jesus to come into her heart (hold the applause) but she didn't see Him go there, so it must not have worked.  hahahah!  So she's getting there, but not quite.  She'll understand soon.  They were able to tell us about the crown of thorns and Jesus carrying the cross.  One more reason I'm so thankful they're going to a private christian school.  (And yes, I'm a public school teacher saying that.)

8.  I only have two more days until spring break.  Can I get a woot woot!

9.  We have homegroup tonight.  So glad to learn about God with some of my bestest buddies.

10.  I still have orphans on the brain.  I'm praying for, asking for, begging for direction on how I can change the face of God's kingdom through orphan care.  What is my role?  Where does He want me?  What should I be doing more of?  Where does God see us in five, ten, twenty years in relation to orphans?

Ok, that's all I've got.  Just had to spill my brain!

Hypocrite!

I'm a fake and a phony.  I can recite scripture.  I can encourage others with God's words.  I can comfort others with God's promises.  But when it comes to me...my life?  All bets are off.

With my mom's recent illness, I have been challenged.  She was so very sick.  She was literally, at death's door.  Many didn't realize that.  I didn't want to acknowledge it, so I didn't share that fact.  It was during this time that I would lean in and tell Mom that God had her in His lap, but when I'd lean back I would hear in my subconscious, "Really?  Do you truly believe that?"

There were many times when I would sing praises to Him.  I would be shaking with joy over her progress.  But it seemed (and sometimes still does seem) that she will take a few steps forward and one step back.  It was as if I'd barely be finished thanking God for His latest miracle in her, and she'd take a turn for the worse.  Or my dad would get sick.  I knew satan was at work.  Taunting me.  In my head, his lies sound a bit like how Yoda speaks. 

"Trust God, you will?  

Thank Him for what?  

Still in the hospital, isn't she? 

Just when you thought your GOD had healed her, she fell ill.  

I will hit you where it hurts.  

Your family.  

I will challenge how you think you feel about God."

I would lie in bed at night during those rough days (if I'm being honest, even this past weekend) and begged God.  Pleaded with Him.  He can move mountains!  Why can't He heal her once and for all?  How could he let my dad get sick too?  My mom needs him!  My dad needs her!  Oh, friends, I'm being from-the-gut real here.  I accused God.  I told Him that I thought I served a mighty God.  I was so angry with Him.  With the whole situation.  

Two steps forward and three steps back does no good for the psyche, you know?   

Yes, scripture says praise Him in all things.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  And I tried.  Oh, how I tried.  I would praise Him that she was still living.  I would thank Him for gifting the doctors with amazing skills.  I would be so grateful that I could walk this road with siblings.  How terrible it would have been to be an only child and facing this!  

But my heart.  I would scream inside my head.  My heart would pound, and break, and race, and stop.  Where was this God that I told others about?  The loving, merciful, great healer?  Was it all a sham?  

Was I a fake Christian?  Who was I to say that I am a child of God?  Good grief, times got rough and I split.  What a good daughter to the King I am.  No wonder non-Christians think we are the biggest hypocrites!  At this point, I was the QUEEN of Hypocrites!  

There were times in our adoption journey that I wondered where God was.  But a wise pastor told me about Kairos.   That chapter in our lives was more about patience and waiting on God.  It was about seeing His picture for our lives, instead of my own.  This time was different.  

Maybe this post today is a place where I can...

JUST. BE. REAL..  

I am weak.

I stumble.

I question.

I wonder.

I cry.

I worry.

I wait.

I learn.

I grow.

I change.

I challenge.

I am.

Mom's journey to wellness is certainly not over.  She and dad have to learn their "new normal" as far as living goes.  They need to work on making a lot of things stronger...her legs, her body, their bond, their relationship.  They will be challenged.  I will be challenged.

I am just praying now that God prepares my heart.  That this last round of spiritual calisthenics strengthened my spiritual muscle so much that when the next valley appears on the horizon, I won't be tempted to jump ship.  I'm praying I will stand strong on all those promises I KNOW to be true.  We DO serve a mighty God.  One whose heart breaks for what breaks ours. I need to train.  To fill my heart and mind with scripture.  To revisit my Memorial Box posts where I have evidence of God's faithfulness.  

And I'll need your prayer.  Stand beside me in prayer.  Don't judge me.  I'm human.  I falter.  Just pray that I'm stronger next time, because we all know there will be a next time.

Thanks for letting me be transparent.

LOVE IT!

OH MY STARS, I LOVE SARAH'S GIVEAWAY BLOG!

Right now, she has the coolest necklaces as a giveaway!  I've been wearing a jade necklace since we were in China and the thread is getting more and more fragile.  I wondered if I would replace the thread, or replace the necklace.  I think I have found my answer!  These hand stamped necklaces are awesome!

Check out SARAH'S GIVEAWAY BLOG or the Etsy shop BITTY CLIPPIES for some awesome jewelery!

But don't enter the giveaway...hahahahah.  I WANT TO WIN! 

Very Thankful Thursday

Ever have one of those days where there is a long road ahead, but for today...for right now...you want to burst with joy?  Today is that day for me.  There is a lot of pain (physical, spiritual, and emotional) happening in the lives of some people I love.  But, I have SO seen God at work and want to sing Him praise!

• My mom is being released from the hospital TOMORROW at 10:00 am!  She has to continue working hard at home, but I believe in her!  God has been working in her in MIGHTY ways!
• Sunshine!
• Our 11th anniversary is Saturday!
• Spring Break is six school days away!
• A student of mine will be spending Tuesday evenings with my family starting next week.  I'll share more about this on a later post, but for now, praise God her foster mom and my wonderful hubby both thought this was a good idea!  I'm preparing to be challenged and blessed!
• My daughters are learning in leaps and bounds!
• Flip flop season is just around the corner!
• Our homegroup met last night and it was SO good!  It was emotional, and challenging, and I am SO blessed to be a part of that group.  I love each and every member!

GOD IS SO GOOD...He's so good...good to me!

Are you thankful?  Really really thankful?  Ok, for what?  TELL ME!

You've Gotta Bid!

Help Adeye and her family rescue TWO, yes, TWO adorable children!  God chose them to parent two angels with Down Syndrome, Hailee and Harper! 

CLICK HERE  to find their auction and bid!  They are very close to their goal!

Just think, YOU can change the face of God's kingdom by helping this family.  YOU can have an impact on a little life that needs saving!  YOU can unite a family and bring hope to these little girls.   YOU can bring them one step closer to their daughters, and the girls one step closer to a forever Mommy and Daddy!

CLICK HERE!  You won't regret it!

Man of Steel!

So do any of you read "Adoptive Families" magazine?  I really like the information they provide.  Well, I had lost my latest issue for a few days and wondered where it went.  When I finally found it, I opened it up to start reading.  I always start with the reader's comments and "Thumbs-Up" and "Thumbs Down" page.  Imagine my surprise when I started reading a comment written, and it started like this..."We met our twin daughters when they were 22 months old."  I was like, HUH?  NO WAY!  We did too!  That's wild. 

So I read another sentence, then skipped to the reader's name and it was ME!  Bwhahahahah!  I had submitted a comment but didn't think it'd get published.  I was giddy!  Finally!  I'm published!  hahahaah.  Mind you, I have always dreamed about getting published in magazines.  I've written several articles, but always denied.  So, when I called my dad and told him that my comment was in there, he was like, "YAY!  You're published!"  Sweet man.  My parents share that same dream with me.  They hope to see my name in print some day.  God-willing, some day they will, and it won't be a measly comment!

OK, moving on...that had nothing to do with the post title.  Just a side note!  Anyway...

I need your help.  As you saw from my (obviously too long according to Sarah) list about my sweet hubby, our 11th anniversary is coming up.  I looked it up, and traditionally, it said steel is the material the gift should be made of.  Now, we don't usually follow this or anything, we're just trying to be affordable and creative this year.  So steel.   Steel?  Really?  Uh, weird.

I looked up a site w/ steel gifts and there are some pretty creative things.  Like, a steel woven wallet.  Steel rings.  But they're all ridiculously priced.  So then, I was thinking, how about something Superman.  I mean, after all, the guy in tights IS the Man of Steel, right?  And he shares a lot of characteristics with my husband.  Well, all except for the tights.  Tony doesn't do tights. 

But I just can't settle on anything.  So, I need some help!  What do you think?  Are any of you the creative type?  What should I get him?  (He probably won't read this, because he only reads it when he posts, or when I direct him to it to read.)

So thoughts?  Seriously.  HELP ME!

NEWMAN!!!!

Did you know that I love my husband?  I do.  A thousand percent love him.  But, you, bloggy friends, don't really know Tony like I do.  Ahem, not that I want you to!  :)

Next week is our 11th anniversary.  I wanted to write a post about him today in order to free up the time for him to write a mushy loving post about ME next week.  Did you read that honey?  I'll get my post about you all out of the way, so you will have time to write, edit, tweak, and gush in a post about me next week.  BWHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Not likely.

Anyway, I DO love my man, and thought I'd let you get to know him a little better.  I KNOW it will make you want to peek over at his NEW BLOG when you're done!

Facts about Tony:

• He loves God.  Even in high school everyone knew where Tony stood.
• The skaters in high school called him Jesus.  It was said with respect.
• He has mad love for cars.  
• His first car was a 1969 Nova.
• He taught me how to drive a stick in a different Nova.
• That nova was lovingly referred to as, "The Turd".  I don't need to describe the color do I?
• He used to own yet, an entirely different Nova.  (That's three if you've lost count)
• He still owns the first Nova.
• He also now owns a Nova station wagon.  Well, WE own that one.  She's my baby.  We named her Bulah.  (So he's owned four Novas so far)
• He has a younger brother (also talented artist) and sister-in-love that we adore.
• He has been and is the youngest member of our church board.
• Tony is a gifted artist.  I mean, beyond gifted.  He just doesn't have the opportunity to use this gift often.
• Tony is way creative. 
• He saves parts from broken or disassembled things.  You know that weird bolt thingy that came off that spring thingy that was attached to that rod thingy?  Yeah, he kept all three when we threw the big thingy away.  AND, he has probably found uses for them all!
• He is wild about his daughters.  He calls them "baby" which makes me melt.  
• He LOVES Seinfeld.  Giddyup.  No more needs to be said. (Get the post title yet?)
• Hate to admit it, but we both love Two and a Half Men.  We laugh until we cry.  
• He digs any movie with Clint Eastwood.
• He knows more about city, county, and state government than most people do.
• He learned serious work ethic from his parents who owned a service station for many years.
• He does oh, 95% of the housework (according to HIM).
• He "gets" politics and some strong opinions about it.  The current president infuriates him.
• He is probably one of the smartest people I know.
• He LOVES Jeeps.  We have three.  (Wrangler, Cherokee, and 4-door Wrangler)  Used to own a different Jeep (Liberty).
• He rolls his eyes when I tell him I am ready to adopt again.

WOW.  Ok, so maybe that was more than you needed to know.  But it's easy to talk about him.  We've been together for nearly 20 years.  I honestly could have written dozens more, but I won't.  :) 

ANYWAY  (Note, I did not say, ANYHOO-I HATE that. HUGE pet peeve, I'm just sayin')....to have a creative release (since he works in government), he started his own blog!  Please take a minute to head over there and leave a comment.  Ooooh, and if you would become a follower, I am sure he'd be pumped!

Like I said, he's all about cars, but I'm hoping he'll put some of his artwork on there too.  He has serious talent.  And he is a great writer, so the blog should be pretty great.

Thanks for listening to me rave about Tony.  I adore him!  I'm SO thankful that Jesus created us for one another.  Happy anniversary, Tony!  I love you!

SO Thankful This Thursday!

Satan is doing a number on us.  On my family.  On my friends.  But, thankfully, I know who wins this battle in the end!  WHOO HOO!  Satan has NO hold on  us!  So, STEP, you vicious thing! (said with attitude and snapping fingers!)  Jesus reigns here!

This Thursday, I choose to be thankful.  My mom is healing.  Her attitude and spirit is returning.  She has a renewed sense of determination about her.  She is committed to getting better.  Oh, how I love that woman!  And my dad has been her steady companion.  He sleeps in her hospital room, nightly.  He tends to her needs throughout the day.  I love him, too!!!!  THANK YOU, JESUS for sending me Godly, wonderful parents. 

I'm thankful that there are only two weeks until spring break.  You hear that Mother Nature?  SPRING break.  Give us a break, and give us SPRING!  Sweet Abby has been itching to take walks and get out side and play.  Laney just keeps asking, why is this winter such a long DAY?  heheheh.

I'm thankful that Sarah is doing a giveaway blog.  It's so fun to read the reviews and get a chance to win something!

I'm thankful for a husband that I adore.  He does more than his half of the housework and kidwork.  He loves me, even with my faults.  He makes me laugh.  He provides for us.  He loves God.  I would be lost without him.

I'm thankful I serve a MIGHTY God.  He HEALS, PROTECTS, LOVES, CHALLENGES, BLESSES, KEEPS, and COMMANDS us.... You hear that Satan?  So get to steppin'!

Blog Hop-Easy Peasy Appetizer

Layered Cheeseball

I saw a recipe for a layered cheeseball in a magazine one time.  It looked SO yummy, but for my family to eat it, I knew it needed a twist.  You'll find that twist below.

1-brick cream cheese
1-small jar of marinated artichokes
1-small can of pitted black olives
1-small package of sundried tomatoes
Drizzle of olive oil
Coarse salt (optional)

Take dental floss and slice the brick of cream cheese lengthwise twice.  You will have three layers.  Take the top layer and place in on a plate.  Roughly chop the artichoke hearts.  Start with half a jar.  Once chopped, place those on top of the first layer of cream cheese. 

Place the second slice/layer of cream cheese on top of the layer of artichoke hearts.  Roughly chop about half a pack of the the sundried tomatoes. Place those on top of the second slice/layer of cream cheese.  Drizzle just a bit of olive oil on the tomatoes and then top with final slice/layer of cream cheese.  Roughly chop half a can of the black olives.  Top the final later of cream cheese with the black olives.  Sprinkle the top with coarse salt.  Serve with crackers!

Because you only used half of each of the ingredients, you could buy a second brick of cream cheese and do a second appetizer.  You could substitute any of the ingredients for pine nuts, coarsely chopped basil leaves, green olives, etc.  The possibilities are endless!

WHATEVER!

The other day on the way to my sister's Abby was singing away in the back seat.  She was making up songs and belting them out.

Her latest lyrics?  "JESSSSUUUS....He died on the croosssssss!  And He took our sins awaaayyy!  And...........He............... gave us NEW ONES!!!!!"  Bwahahahhaha!  Of course we had a little chat.  :)

Today, as we pulled out of the driveway, I heard the girls chatting and being silly.  Then I heard Laney say, "Whateverrrr!"  Total valley girl back there.  I looked back and mentioned that they should use kind words and besides, she totally used it at the wrong time.  (I'm just sayin')

So then, Abby says, "Yeah, you only say WHATEVER when you're really really mad, right Mama?"   Stumble, sputter, stammer..."Um, well, we shouldn't really talk like that anyway.  It's just not kind to say that to someone even if you're upset."  HELLO!  They watch and hear EVERYTHING!  Obviously they have heard Tony and/or me use it when we've been angry.  Yikes.

Any of you have little parrots who mimic your words and actions?

Beautiful Mistake

A friend of mine, Adam Cappa, had his new cd come out a couple of weeks ago.  It's called Love Driven.  He is not only stinkin' adorable, he has a heart for God that rivals many I know.  His talent is truly God given, and God centered. 

Well, on his newest cd, he has a track called "Beautiful Mistake".  That title alone drums up so many thoughts and images.  Well, something happened this week that I consider a beautiful mistake.  It won't mean a lot to some of you, but if your child is in public school, I hope it means something.

While I was filing away some practice worksheets, I stumbled upon a huge file that had some standardized tests from, oh, six years ago in it.  I know, cleaning out files is a whole separate issue.  Anyway, as I pulled out the tests, I started taking the staples out in order to shred them.  I glanced down at the student's name on the top test.  Immediately his face came to mind.  And almost as instantly, I prayed for him.  Then it struck me.  I could just quickly go through and yank the staples out and move on, or I could purposefully take a minute and pray over each student.  I hadn't seen them (or most of them) in forever, so I had no clue where they were in their lives.  But I knew some of them needed prayer.  No, all of them needed prayer, I'm sure. 

It was SO nice to focus on talking to God about them, instead of my worries and concerns in my life.  I lifted each one up and prayed for a variety of things.  College, jobs, relationships, family, reputations, friendships, etc.  With each prayer, I grew hungrier to pray more for them.  Never shredding one random group of tests from six years ago was a mistake.  It just worked out to be a beautiful mistake.

I pray over my students all the time without them knowing it.  But it was nice to think back about this particular group and purposefully pray for them!  May God bless them!

Who says teachers can't pray in school?  Just try me.  I do it all the time!

Giveway Site!

Thank you all for praying for my mom.  She had a heart cath and stint put in yesterday.  It was a long, rough day.  I'll update you as I learn more.

I wanted to focus on something happy for my tired brain, so I thought I'd blog about my friend Sarah's giveaway blog.  It's called, On the Search for Hidden Treasure!  She is a treasure herself, who is having fun reviewing products and also giving away many items! 

You'll want to go check out her site.  I mean, read the reviews and buy the products.  But don't enter her giveaways.  I WANT TO WIN!  I'm just sayin'!

If you feel you MUST enter...let her know I sent you!

Praise Him!

THANK YOU for praying for my mom, dad, and family during my mom's recent illness.

Picture taken December 2009

A HUGE PRAISE is that MY MOM DOES NOT HAVE CANCER and HAS NOT HAD A STROKE!  Thank You, thank You, thank You, Jesus!

She is still in the hospital (admitted Thursday evening).  She is fighting a NASTY virus and a uti.  She has blisters inside her mouth.  She is severely dehydrated and anemic.  She has zero strength to stand.  She is barely eating.  She has lost 29 lbs in just over two weeks b/c she can't eat.  It makes her super sick.  She has two blocked arteries they're hoping to do surgery on soon, but not until she's stronger.  

All that being said, the key word above is "fighting".  For a while, we weren't sure that she was fighting anything but us.  But she has promised me that she is NOT giving up.  She is one sick girl.  And honestly, it is the hardest thing seeing her this sick.  She is supposed to be strong, ya know?

So, bottom line.  Please keep praying.  Obviously, she means the world to me.  I want her spunky spirit back.  I want her humor.  But mostly, I want her deep sense of love and caring to come back.  Right now, it's all on vacation.  Please pray for her mind, body, and spirit.  Please, please, please!

So that's why I've been MIA from the blog.  I'm not sleeping much because I'm in worry mode all the time.  And so when I'm home from work, I'm too tired to blog.  So, even with the extreme amounts of cuteness that Tony posted on the last post, I can understand why we didn't get any comments.  We have been missing for too long.  I have to blog.  I need this blog.  I'll be back.  (As long as I get a comment or two now and then!)

P.S.  Doesn't the new background remind you of the Spirograph game/art set from the 80's?  I remember LOVING that.  I played with those little plastic wheel gadgets for hours making patterns.  I love it!

Go Away Snow

Greetings!  It's Tony, so no deep thoughts, just pictures.  I hope everyone is doing well.  Below you will find a pictoral update of our recent happenings (most from this past weekend).  Please enjoy. 

Like most of the country, we have had snow and more snow!  Here are the girls enjoying the first, of several, storms...

Last Friday night we decided to get away and spent the night at one of our favorite hotels to celebrate Chinese New Year and Valentines Day.  Here are the girls posing in the hotel room.

We then met up with Robby and Ally and hit the World of Wheels car show in Indy Saturday (Rett humored me since it was Valentine's Day weekend).  Here are the girls posing in front of their favorite car of the show.  They prefer lowered 50's customs with louvered hoods and tuck and roll interior...not really, it was just a pretty pink car. 

(P.S. - if you want to see more photos from the show, jump over to my new blog - http://www.tonyfoster2.blogspot.com/ )

This is what you do when you get bored at a car show...you find a nice pole that is holding up the roof and play hide and seek.

Here is Laney...being Laney.

Later that evening we found a real Chinese restaurant (not a buffet) in Indy.  Here Abby enjoys some green tea before her meal. 

Here is Laney enjoying her lo-mein noodles.  The girls insisted on using chopsticks for this Chinese New Year meal.

Thanks for stopping in to check up on us.

SPAM

I'm sick to death of getting spam messages to moderate.  I'm doing the word verification for a bit to get rid of them!

The ONLY kind of spam I like, comes from a can!  Do you like it too?

Btw, thanks for praying for my mom.  Please pray without stopping!  Pray that God renews her spirit and strength.  Pray she finds the purpose and bravery within to take one step at a time and get better.  Pray for total and complete healing!  And pray for my dad too, please.  For his wisdom, energy, and spirit. 

Thank you, friends!

And just because it has been awhile since you have seen some sweetness...take a peek below!

Thankful Thursday

What?  Two posts in one week?  Make that three, baby!  I posted one our church's ministry blog yesterday!

So why today?  Why this post?  Well, honestly, because I need it.  I need to be thankful.  My head needs this post.  My heart needs it.  My soul needs it.  And my God needs it.

First of all, friends, I am so thankful for you.  I pour my heart out on this blog and you respect it.  No, I don't have hundreds of followers.  No, not everyone who reads this, comments.  But you, the ones who chose to lift me up, thank you.  You encouraged me so much.  You encouraged my family.  Trust me, your prayers have been felt.  This week I needed you and your prayers, and you came through!  Yes, both my "real life" friends, and those I've met in Bloggyland.  Seriously.  You guys mean a ton.  I love that we "do" life together.  We share our ups and downs.  We praise Him and pray together as family.  Cheesy schmeesy...I love you!


My mom gets to leave the hospital today which is bittersweet.  It's good because she is over some of what put her in there, but bitter because there are other things they have found.  It will be hard without a nurse to push her to do all she should. 

Going home has also forced her to look at all the upcoming procedures and surgeries she'll need.  It is simply overwhelming.  It overwhelms me, I cannot imagine how she's feeling.  But today, I choose to be thankful.  My mom is alive and trying to get well today!  God has been merciful and healed some things in her!  I am thankful she had/has a team of doctors and nurses that truly care about her.  They made her laugh.  They made my dad and my family feel welcome.  They encouraged and challenged her.  And they were just nice people.  Thank you, Jesus! 

Just keep praying for her!  The procedures start happening next week!

I'm thankful Sarah keeps letting us in on ways to win free stuff over on her blog!  But don't go look and register, ok?  Then you'll decrease my chances of winning!

Ok, the last thing I'm thankful for today is that the COLTS made it to the SUPERBOWL!  WHOOO HOOO! I'll be glued to the TV Sunday, so don't call!  hahahah!  Bring home a victory, boys!

A Season of Change

Seasons...it's one of the reasons I live where I do.  I get to experience the crisp colors of fall (my favorite), the freezing snow of winter, the rainy newness of spring, and the sweltering heat of summer. 

Well, I'm entering a new season here.  And it's not one I enjoy.  It's a season of growth.  Of growing up.  Of changes, fears, and hopes.  It's the acknowledgement that my parents are getting older.  Their bodies are made in the image of God, but they are human. No, they're not dying.  But they're aging to the point I have to notice.

My mom has been sick and in the hospital.  Her ailments are private and for her to share only.  But let me say, it has been taxing.  It has been hard on her body, mind, and spirit.  It has been anguish for her family to see. 

As I might have mentioned before, I am the baby of the family.  My sisters and brother were annoyed because they thought I got away with everything.  My nieces and nephews were close in age and grew tired of me being spoiled.  And I was.  I'll admit it.  My parents made my life wonderful.  Regardless of finances or family situations, I never had to worry about my next meal (My mom is a great cook...and I'm proof!).  I never had to worry about hearing them bicker or worry.  They kept that between themselves.  They raised me to be proud of who I was.  To never let my mouth say something I couldn't back up.  They had nearly perfected parenting by the time they got to me.  Goodness, I never even knew what political party they were because they wanted to raise me to be an independent thinker and formulate my own opinions.

Due to my idyllic upbringing, I tended to be an ostrich when it came to their illnesses and worries.  My dad had open heart surgery several years back, and honestly, I cannot tell you a lot of details about it because I don't know them.  I didn't want to know them.  I liked living in my perfect world.  And he made it through, so my world continued on.  My heart hurts when I think about how much I missed out on by hiding my head in the sand.  

Well, with my mom sick now, I've had to grow up.  I have had to be an adult.  Yes, it's time, but it's hard.  Seriously hard.  I had to stand up to a doctor (with my sister alongside me).  Worse yet, I had to stand up to my mother.  I had to see the pain in her eyes when I told her I disagreed with her.  Hurtful words were said in and among my family.  It broke my heart.  It rocked me to the core.

There is still some of that little girl in me though.  This past week, every time I would go to pray, the words weren't there.  It was like, I couldn't acknowledge that this was pretty serious.  My mom and dad are my own personal superheroes sent by God.  However, with the title of hero comes some pretty unrealistic expectations that we put on them.  See, my parents aren't supposed to get sick.  EVER.  And if they do, it should just be a cold.  Because a hero cannot be down for long.  They have crime to fight and a world to save.  I would sit there and look at God (through my prayers) and be at a loss.  I couldn't pray.  I mean, it was my mom, right?  She would bounce back.  She always does. 

I would ask for prayers everywhere.  I'd ask my co-teachers to pray, my friends on FB, my small group, my husband, my daughters.  But for some reason, I just could not pray.  Want the truth?  I think it was because if I was honest enough with God that my mom was really sick than I would have to realize that myself.  And I didn't want to.  I wanted to go back to being an ostrich.  It just isn't fair!  My girls are young.  She and dad have already had the opportunity to spoil their other grandchildren, and now great grandchildren.  It was MY turn.  MY girls deserve the time too!  What if we adopt again?  They should know their Granny!  Selfish?  Yes, but I'm being real here.

So here I am in this season of life.  The season of reality where I begin to understand my superheros aren't immortal.  They have weaknesses.  They feel pain and hurt. 

Yes, God already knows.  He is just waiting for me to give it to Him.  I am His daughter as well, and I know He doesn't want to see me in pain.  But, oh the pain.

He and I will be having a long talk.  I'll crawl in His lap and rest my head against His chest.  I'll ask Him for more time.  More love.  More memories.  I'll ask Him for strength and wisdom to do what's right. 

Some days I still want to be an ostrich.  But now it's time to step up and be more.  It's my turn to be a superhero...a superhero for my parents.  They have taught me well.

Another Abby-ism

Just because I need a laugh today...Poor Laney is sick.  I'm home with her.

The other night while walking through a store, Abby started singing.  Not softly.  Not sweetly.  But with great gusto.  The song?  "LITTLE RED, BA-GOOSE!  LITTLE RED, BA-GOOSE!  LITTLE RED, BA-GOOSE BEHIND THE TRAIN!"  She didn't know the next lines, so she just kept repeating these!

Do I need to translate?  "Little red caboose.  Little red caboose.  Little red caboose behind the train, ain, ain, ain.  Smoke stack on his back, back, back, back...rollin' down the track, track, track, track...little red caboose behind the train!  Wooo Woooo!" 

Goodness...I love these girls. They keep me in stitches!

Just a dream...

Abby told me this morning that her bad dreams from a couple of nights ago could be found in Jesus's belly.  Huh?

Ok, let me go back.  She told us last night that the night before she had bad dreams about doctors.  Which was probably true, she ended up sobbing in the night and we brought her to bed with us.  So, she was really really nervous to go to sleep last night.  She said she was afraid she'd have bad dreams. 

We talked to her about it, and gave her some fun or funny things to think about while she was falling asleep.  Then, before I left her room, I asked her if she would like for me to pray for Jesus to take the bad dreams away.  She readily agreed.  I prayed aloud to Jesus asking Him to take away her fears and replace them with joy.  I mentioned some silly things that Jesus could put in her heart, etc.  She settled down, and eventually fell asleep.  She did, however whimper some in the middle of the night, so we brought her to bed with us again.

This morning, however, while she was getting dressed, she said, "Mama, my bad dreams are in Jesus's belly!"  After my look of confusion, she said she didn't have any bad dreams so they must have went away and are now in Jesus's belly.  I wonder if she meant lap?  Like we lay our worries and concerns in His lap?  Not sure, but it made this mama smile for sure this morning.  Her joy at her peaceful dreams was certainly contagious!

Nothing earth shattering...but I wanted to share it nonetheless.

Got some other things mulling around in my brain...but I'll save those for another day.  I'll try to add a pic of sweet Abby tonight from our home computer, too! 

Quote

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and proclaiming, "Wow, what a ride!!!"---Unknown 



AMEN! I hope that's me!  I hope I'm skidding in broadside, ready to meet Jesus!  I pray I do whatever God calls me to do.  And that I do it with a grateful heart. 

God is good!  And so are you, my friends.  Thanks for the encouragment!