This year, Mother's Day has take on several new meanings. It now has several new levels of depth. I almost can't wrap my mind around it all. Here, I'll let you in on what is swirling in my brain.
- We have Stinker with us this year for Mother's Day. That means that this Mama's heart is even more full than in years past. God has granted me three wonderful girls. Whereupon I once thought I didn't even want children, now my heart longs for those with no Mama. Our children come to us a variety of ways. So far, mine have come to me via China, and through guardianship right here. If the Lord sees fit, we may have more come home too. And I'm ok with that. Way ok with that.
- We have Stinker with us this year for Mother's Day. No, that's not an echo. It actually means that she is not with her biological mother this year. A friend and I were talking how it's easy to think about us as Mother's. But, what about the children? Our littles have no memories of their biological mother. So, between that and their age, they do not have a lot of emotions tied to this day. But Stinker? She knows her mom. She talks to her mom semi-weekly. She knows the situation her mom is in is rotten. She also knows this is a painful holiday for her mom. And she carries some of that burden. Yes, her mom did this to herself, but Stinker feels the weight of it. It's totally unfair.
- Mother's Day will be a challenge this year for Rob and Ally. Just one short month ago, they said hello and goodbye to their first child. To, Oliver Matthew Junebug, their son. And although they trust God, this Mother's Day, her arms will be empty. Even when we longed for children and couldn't conceive, I am not sure that pain comes anywhere near the pain they're dealing with. She snuggled her baby in her womb. Then she snuggled him in her arms for an hour and 41 minutes. Such a fleeting time. I just hope and pray that we can do the right things, and say the right things to bring her comfort this weekend. Hers is another perspective we don't often think about.
- A good friend of ours lost their infant son during heart surgery a while back. I have written about Tressel before. And although the loss of a child is much like Ally's, Tressel's mommy is feeling something different. She is suffering the loss of him on this day that celebrates motherhood, all the while feeling his baby sister move about in her tummy. She is carrying Tressel's little sister Scarlet. She's healing from the past, and embracing and trusting God for her future. This Mother's Day will be bittersweet, for sure.
- Then there are the new mommies. The ones who prayed and prayed for a child. Or the ones who experienced the joys and pains of a surprise pregnancy. Their feelings are precious as this day unfolds for them for the first time.
- And I will never forget those who have prayed for a child, longed and cried for a child, only to be without a child. I cannot forget the pain that lingers month after month while waiting to see if you're pregnant. Or even the pain waiting to see if an adoption was ever going to happen. That pain runs deep. And this Mother's Day will be a hard reminder of the absence of a child.
- I cannot and will not forget that we nearly lost my mom this year. Just two weeks ago, she had to undergo emergency surgery. Surgery where if we had waited just a few more hours, we could have lost her. Then, this Mother's Day would have been sickening painful. And my mother-in-love DID just lose her mother, our Mamaw, a couple of months ago. Such an incredibly painful time.
- And finally, there is the perspective from those who wait. Those who do not, or have never known the love of a Mother. There are hundreds of thousands of children who have no one to tell them they're loved. They have no one to caress their cheek, or play with their hair. No one to kiss their boo-boos or read to them. They have no one to cook or help them get dressed. They have no one to rock them when their scared, or pull them into their laps when they're sad. They have no one to sing silly songs, and whisper how Jesus loves them. No one. How fair is that?
So welcome to my world. This Mother's Day, I'll be in serious prayer for those affected by this day on the calendar. Will you please pray alongside me? I have not touched on every perspective, just those that that are a part of my world. This year will be tough. But it will be joyus too. I love being a mom. Love it to the depths of my soul. And so I'll celebrate with my children. They deserve that.