Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Changes, Membership, Lists, and Showers

It's me again...Tony's working on other twinny-type stuff. I thought I'd pop in and tell you what our world has been like recently. Be forewarned...I'm brutally honest in this post!

Our world is changing more and more by the day. I knew that life was going to do a 180 but I have been really feeling it the past few days. I feel such pressure to enjoy every single minute with Tony. I'm feeling it so much that it's almost a sadness now. NOT that I want to change one thing, NOT that I want to back out...just a sadness that the relationship I have with my best friend is about to change. It will grow and be great in an entirely different way, and it will be wonderful...but it will change. And ask Tony, ask my mom, Rett does NOT do well with change. Even if it is a change that I asked for...one I truly want. It's just the selfish part of me that wants to keep Tony to myself. Pathetic huh? I warned you that I was going to be honest in this post!

Although I do not have all rights and privileges of this exclusive club called motherhood, I now know the secret handshake. Hehe. Ok, what I really mean is that last night I attended my first ever MOPS meeting. This is the Mothers Of Preschoolers meeting that is held at our church once a month. There really wasn't a handshake or secret phrase or anything, but I sure felt like I was initiated into the motherhood clique. Actually, we had a lot of fun. We ate, we had arts and crafts time, (YEP, for adults! It was great!) watched a short video, had a discussion group, and prayed. It felt surreal. I was sitting around a table of mothers. Everyone at our table had a child or children. One was expecting her second child. One has two beautiful little girls and is adopting my future son-in-law. Then, there was me. I was welcomed into this group of women with open arms and many oohs and ahhhs over our twins. I got the "Oh your life is going to change..." comments and lots of compliments on how cute our girls were. Throughout the night I received advice, comments, and questions. Did I have fun? YES! Will I go back? YES!!! Do I feel like a mommy yet??? NOPE. I haven't been thrown up on yet, so I don't deserve my mommy membership card quite yet. Soon though. It was interesting being on the outside looking in. At least I felt like I was. I wonder what it will feel like once we're home. Again, soon, I will.

Our life now consists of lists. Everywhere I turn I have a list. At school, I have lists of things to explain to the sub, lists of conferences I need to schedule, and lists of thank yous I need to do. At home, we have lists coming out the wazoo. A sneak peek of our lists would show you the following: things to purchase, things to organize, things to paint, things to store up out of toddler grasp, things to pack, things to ask our coordinator, things to email, things to copy to take with us, things to scrapbook...blah blah blah, the lists go on. But that leads to another list...

Fortunately, most of you have been MORE than forgiving if I have forgotten your birthdays (SORRY Beth and Emilie) or just been overall unfocused and selfish. There are some doozy life events happening in our lives and in the lives of our friends and families, and please know that even if I'm not asking daily about you and your situations, you are certainly on my heart and on my PRAYER LIST! We love you so much and thank you so very very much for making this such a fun and special time in our lives. You will never know how much you mean to us. And if you're reading this, then, yes, it's you I'm speaking about. Even if you've just emailed with encouraging words or packing ideas and we've never met. You're the best. I promise to return the favor to future adoptive families.

We have our FIRST of FOUR toddler showers tomorrow! Two of my bestest friends ever at work are throwing us a shower. They are SO sweet and we are thrilled for the FUN to finally begin! I'll update you with all the goodies we get! The second shower is on Friday hosted by Tony's workmates! Everyone is so giving!!!

Ok, well, I've covered four main areas that are consuming our lives right now. You all have been so great, but please continue to pray. We may travel as soon as Nov. 3, but that is ONLY if the Indy Citizenship and Immigration Services issues us a fingerprint appointment and clears us soon enough. At this point, we have nothing, and I'm relying on God to continue to orchestrate it all.

Also, please pray for my family...and all the current changes, and the changes yet to be. I love them so intensely.

Finally, please pray for friends of ours and their recent loss. Pray that they feel God's peace, even without true understanding.

Thanks for tuning in. Tony's next post will be more lighthearted and of course, include pictures!




jkcm said...

I am so glad you liked MOPS! You will really like the bi-monthly magazines (not that you'll have time to read anything but books about Elmo). MOPS has provided some lasting sister-in-Christ friendships and some much needed mentoring for me! Trust that God molded you to be a mommy and He has every confidence that you will be so great at it! I would recommend that you squeeze in a date night before your new adventure. We don't get them very often these days with two little ones! We are so excited for you both! Good Luck and we will continue to pray, every day!

Kylie's momma said...

Oh hang in there Rett! The lists will only get longer and you will forget more and more stuff Grrrr :^). You're never totally ready. Just keep telling yourself "I'm NOT the first person to do this!" and repeat! Just feed them, don't over medicate them, drop them and most importantly LOVE'em to death and you will'll be a MOM!:^) Waiting is tough but so important to enjoy your last few weeks as a couple before the world really starts spinning. So sleep late, cuddle each other and go out to eat in real restaurants (aka with folded napkins on the table) while you can. And know you're NOT the first person to feel like you do. Hgs from MT. Susan

Lynnette said...

I wish I could have had a group like MOPS when the boys were small. You will enjoy the adult interaction once the girls come home. The shower was beautiful and you have the best co-workers there could be. The gifts ROCKED! I want the wagon!!

If you need anything, please let me know.

Shoemaker Family said...

We need to see pics from this fabulous shower! (in your spare time...) :)

MOM said...

dear sweet pea, just wanted you to know , all the things that you are feeling are so normal for new parents to feel.I am very glad that you have reconized them. You and Tony are going to be the greatest parents ever, because you two passed all of god"s PLANS. GOD" blessings aren"t given easily and I would say , you surely have been blessed. TOO SAY WE AS YOUR PARENTS ARE VERY PROUD OF YOUR CHOICES that you have made in your life,husband ,friends and now for your family. god is good all of the time ;. so in closing, keep the lines open between you and tony and always have date nites. Keep your faith in god and your friends and family. god has given you a trusted role and I know he will see you thru it. I LOVE YOU AS MY CHILD AND I LOVE AND RESEPCT YOU AS PARENTS TO BE ,SO ENUF OF THAT STUFF AND HURRY AND BRING THEM GRANDBABIES HOME. SMILES AND HUGS ALL AROUNDS FOR ALL OF YOUR BACK-UP CHEERING SQUAD. WE LOVE YOU-ALL. RETTS PARENTS, BILL AND MARILYN SADLER

IzzyBeth said...

I made it through your ENTIRE blog. Yes, the whole thing. Every single post. I wanted to go through the journey with you, no matter how late I may be.

I remember when I was at Cville with you and we had a discussion about how you and Tony had considered adoption and we discussed some of the trials and tribulations I went through with my babies. Look how far you've come!!!

I'm so excited for you and your girls! I cried through your website last night and cried through your blog today. Sometimes, girls just need a reason to cry!!!

We as a family are praying for you and yours!! Keep updating!!!