It has been a week...one I choose not to relive.
So, with that being said, I wanted to blog about something fun!
Sarah is doing a GREAT giveaway on her blog right now! They're PoppyDip dresses!
Renee, Nikki, and Jennifer...you're SO going to want one for the girls!!!
Check it out!
SHOOOOO....life is nuts right now!
We have a homestudy visit scheduled for Monday to renew our foster care license! We have been cleaning like mad every day for a week! I actually emailed our social worker and asked, "Do you have to actually SEE the laundry room? It's a wreck!" She wrote back and said she did need to see it, but not to meticulously clean. So I take that as a green light to leave some clothes in the hamper, and some on the floor, if necessary. I'm just saying.
I'm shocked at how nervous I am! This is our, um, third homestudy visit. (One for the China program, one for our initial foster care license, and now this one.) Why am I so freaked?
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About a million moons ago, I mentioned that one of my students would be coming home with me. Well, she has been riding home with me on Tuesday nights for over a month now. She has also gone with my family to the children's museum in Indy. AND, she has spent the night with us a couple of times on the weekend. So how is it going, you ask? It's wonderful!!!! We are really enjoying getting to know her on a different level. The girls adore her. And she is very respectful and caring in our home!
Well, last night, the honeymoon was over and she tested me a bit. But, honestly, I was so glad she did. She now trusts us enough to let her guard down. She flat out told me she did some things just to see how I would react, or what I would say. I think that's healthy progress! I'm actually very happy about it. It wore me out, but psychologically, it was such a good step.
Where is this going, you ask? I have no idea. But what I do know is that Tony and I adore her. Our girls adore her. She has met everyone in both sides of our family and everyone sees how well we all mesh. It is a great situation. We pray steadily for her and with her. (She even asked her sister to pray before bed the other night! Yippee!!) And every time I think about what the future might hold for she, and her siblings as well, I hear God clearly whisper, "Just be in her corner for now. She needs you in her corner." So for now, that's what we're doing. And we're happy to do it. Does it give us gray hair? You bet. Would I trade it? No way.
I'm so glad that once again, when God called us to do something...to step out in faith...we said yes. Obedience is never easy, whether your two or 102. But, it is oh so worth it to please God. And we're being stretched, challenged, and blessed all because of it!
What has God called YOU to lately? Have you said YES?
Philippians 4:6-7
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I've explained many times before on this blog how I am the baby of my family. I am the youngest, and by default, the most spoiled.
My sisters and brother often complained I got more and got to do more. My nieces and nephews would whine because I would tattle on them when we were all little (we're very close in age) and they would always get in trouble. Yeah, it wasn't pretty, but that is the truth.
Well, last night I was downstairs folding towels. As I began folding, I was chatting with God. And I got to thinking. (DO NOT thrash me here...I was young and dumb) When I still lived at home with my parents, I remember I would use two towels per shower. I would use one for my hair, and one for my body. I would put those in the hamper afterward, and use two new ones for the next shower. *GASP* It was ridiculous! Once I started doing my own laundry, that certainly stopped!
Anyhow, that further cemented into my mind that I really was spoiled. My mom and dad would just do the laundry and never say anything to this princess. And I never did one single load of laundry. How insensitive and ridiculous was I? That was just one of the many ways my parents spoiled me. (Thank you mom and dad, I love you!)
Want a peek into my mind? Here was my train of thought today...
I was driving to school this morning, enjoying the gorgeous day. As I was driving, I was wondering if I brought lotion since I ran out of time to put it on this morning. This led me to think about how dry my skin gets. THEN, my train of thought went to, "You know, I won't ever have a biological child. He or she will never have to deal with the possibility of getting my trait of super dry skin, among other horrible traits." It's weird how that infertility demon will appear out of no where.
Well, then (yes, bizarre jump here) but I got to thinking about historical times where women were judged by their fertility (yes, I know, they're STILL judged). And that led to me thinking about a simulation I did back when I worked AmeriCorps. We took part in a simulation set during times of slavery. We walked to the Levi Coffin house (huge abolitionist) and took on the roles of slaves. We were being bought and sold according to physical attributes.
I distinctly remember one slave owner (guy in costume who yelled a lot) looking at me and saying, "I want her. She's got good birthing hips. She'll give us lots of babies. More farm hands." I wasn't offended in the least because I was totally caught up in the role. It was super emotional and humbling.
Well, fast forward back to this morning. On my drive, I honestly got to thinking about what my life would be like if I couldn't have produced any babies for them. *shivers*
Regardless of what anyone says, I believe those who cannot or choose not to have biological children are still totally judged today. People look at me differently because my children are not biologically mine. People assume a lot of things. And the pain is real.
Childless couples often feel as though they haven't received a membership into the "Parents Club" and have to stand outside the circle and just watch. Families fall apart due to infertility and these issues. It's real, and it's ugly. (It's still not as ugly as being shunned by your tribe/family, beaten, or killed because of it--all of which happens worldwide.)
My conclusion? Infertility (or not being able to have biological children) just sucks. There's no way around it. It feels totally unfair to those who are affected by it. But I'm preaching to the choir to some of you.
After my hysto this past summer, I had to come to grips with the fact that I will never even have the option to give birth to a child. I grieved it in July, again in August, and September, and October...you get the idea. But it wasn't until several months later that I really had a breakdown about it all. I thought I had gone off the deep end. But, I needed to really truly grieve it, and I did. Am I over it? Today, right this second, I'm ok with it. But tomorrow, I might not be, who knows?
But I'm one of the lucky ones. God saw a bigger picture. My daughters. My life. Abby and Laney. He knew what I did not. He knows the end of my story, THANKFULLY!
I wouldn't take back any of the heartache, pain, prayers, and tears. If taking any of that back would change the course of my life, I wouldn't take them back. I am who I am supposed to be. Where I'm supposed to be. With my daughters and my husband. Living a life dedicated to God. Striving toward obedience. All thanks to some sperm and eggs being socially inept.
Which all leads me to thinking about how blessed I am that international adoption was an option for us. It soon, might not be an option for others.
I'm scared to death that recent stupid decisions made by an adoptive family (TN woman sending her son back to Russia with just a note) will affect the future of adoption. It will negatively impact the lives of orphans worldwide. That heartless move could be forever known as, "The child sent 'round the world" (play on the shot heard round the world). Governments worldwide tend to already be shifting as far as adoption goes. What message does this ridiculous action send them? All it takes is one bad apple...
So it's our turn to pray. Pray for government officials that are a part of the adoption arena. Pray their hearts are softened and that they don't lump all adoptive families together and associate them with this bad apple. Pray for orphans worldwide that may not ever know the love of a family. Pray for the childless couples that long to love a child and may not have that opportunity to because of this situation.
Pray first. Then follow the directions in the post below this one. It's important that you take action!
There you have it. Welcome to my train of thought. Pretty deep for a Wednesday morning.
TAKE ACTION!
One disgusting move on an adoptive family's part could impact the future of adoption.
Click the following link to read and take action for orphans worldwide! Do not rely on someone else to do it! The face of adoption depends on us to TAKE ACTION!
10--the number of minutes until my lunch break is over.
2--the number of daughters I have and adore.
3--the number of days left until this week is over.
210--approximate number of orphans worldwide.
1--more artery surgery for my mom.
1--delicious Payday candybar I just ate.
2.5--years since we became a forever family.
41--days left of school.
2--weeks I will work at Safety Town this summer.
81--days until we leave for DisneyWorld! (Shhh, the girls do not know it yet!)
18--days until my nephew gets married!
1--Husband whom I love very much!
25--newly widowed women in the West Virginia Mine tragedy.
2--days until my sister has surgery on her shoulder.
2--the number of points Butler lost by. :(
3--the number of angels in the Ukraine that are getting to know their families.
765-the number of pounds I need to lose before said Disney trip. (Yeah, yeah, I ate a Payday, I know)
Ok, with spring break and Easter, I have been HORRIBLE about posting! However, Tony finally uploaded the billions of recent picutres we have and so, expect a ridiculously long post or posts to show up this week!
My comments have dwrindled to like two, and that's just pathetic! I need to get back at this!
The Lord is RISEN!
He is RISEN indeed!
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