Therapy Part 3

OK, ok, so gyn oncologist. But before I get to that, I have to say thank you for the comments, support, and prayer. It has been crucial. We HAVE felt them. As for the B situation, I feel peace. A deep sadness for her, but a peace about the decision. That is thanks to you and your prayers.

I also want to be clear that although I don't know the end of B's story, or our story as far as growing our family, I do know one thing to be true. We serve a mighty God who knows our thoughts before we speak them, every hair on our head, and the farthest corners of our hearts. I do not for one second believe our journey to B was a wasted trip. We met some amazing people who are dedicated to babies (and older children and teens, yippee!) in the foster system. They are determined to provide a safe haven, if only for a day or two. I admire them. I admire their bravery. They are not ever going to have to look back on their lives and say, "Oh, we could have. I wish we would have." They did. They ARE the hands and feet of Jesus.

Tony and I have grown so much through this too. Our rationale about life and family was challenged and we grew. We grew spiritually. And friends, I cannot explain the joy that comes from being obedient. MAN, what a rush Peter must have had when he stepped out of that boat! We had that same rush. And I'm riding that same high! I LOVE following His commands. This was a particularly scary one, but we did it. And we did it with praise, and trust, and love. And would I do it again? OH YEAH! Which is scary. Because I 100% believe that He'll be calling on us again soon. Until then, I'll just continue to thank him for choosing us!

Which leads me onto the next part of my therapy. The oncologist post. For those who do not know, four years ago this week I had my right ovary and some lymph nodes removed. I had some weird hormone producing cyst/tumor things that were growing in/on/around my ovary, so my doctors felt it was best to just get it out of there! I agreed. They did not touch my left ovary because it was healthy, and in case we wanted to continue to try and have biological children. I was never diagnosed with cancer, WHOO HOO GOD!

Well, at the point of the surgery, we started thinking about the importance of growing our family. Biology wasn't important, even though it was still possible for us. We CHOSE adoption. (It's at this point, I can see God giggling to himself thinking how He knew the rest of that story and the joy he had in store for us). Surgery was in June, healed, started school, and then signed on for adoption through Ch*na in January of 06.

Blah, blah, blah...years pass and we are blessed with our twin daughters. Blessed doesn't even come close to an accurate word to describe how we feel about them. But I think you get the idea. Anyway, I started having some weird symptoms again (if you want those symptoms, email me...I'm already sharing TMI, I'm sure). So for the past, oh, six months I've been to the doctor, doing thousands of dollars in blood work, having ultrasounds, etc to find out...yep, you guessed it. They discovered a lovely little cyst on my left ovary.

So last Thursday, I ventured to a new gyn onc. (mine from the first surgery had moved to over three hours away). The entire staff was nice. From the front desk girl, to the resident doctor, even down to the girl who took my weight and blood pressure. Which my weight alone, can cause an entirely different therapy session!

I met with the doctor, who was a nice middle aged man in a bow tie. He came in and sat with Tony and me in the exam room. He hopped up on the exam table like a champ and leaned in to talk. In his professional opinion, and with my history, he said to go in and get it out. He said I would go ahead and have the total abdominal hysterectomy.

You know, I went into this appointment believing I would come out with him saying that exact same thing. My gut told me that's what I'd have to do. I had mentally prepared for it. Or, so I thought. But after he walked out and shut the door, I lost it. I cried and cried. My heart still aches. And bless that surgery scheduling nurse. She gave me a few minutes to pull myself together before she came to take me to the conference room. And even then, she reassured me she had a new box of tissues waiting on me in there.

It's weird. Big news like this does a number on one's psyche. But I'll save that one for my next post called, WHY HYSTERECTOMIES INHALE WITH GREAT FORCE! (aka, suck) I'll tell you how great Tony was during the whole ordeal. And I'll share my psycho perspective on all of this. Trust me. In that post, you'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll cringe. And I will have done my job.

Any thoughts/questions/comments, please share! And I'll be looking for your opinions, suggestions, and experiences after my next post too. I'll need group support, I'm sure!

Ok, my friends. I'm going to go spend time with my husband. My tanning bed burns are healed enough that I can snuggle once again! It has been too funny because the girls touch my arms and ask, "Does that hurt?" And my cheeks, "How about there?" They're ready for me to be better too!

Have a good night. And once again, thank you for being so supportive!