Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Bonding and Birthdays

On the eve eve of our family birthday, I'm feeling sort of reflective.  But oddly enough, it's a swirl of emotions about our first babies in China, and our newest chickie here.

We prayed and prayed about attachment and bonding before we ever left for China.  We wanted our girls to be loved so much that they'd transfer that bonding to us.  Well, having twins, we got a little of both types of reactions.  I often joke that Abby had the reaction of, "Oh!  YOU'RE Mama and Baba!  Where have you been all my life?"  Seriously.  One Cheer*io and she was hooked on us.  (And we were hooked on her too.)

Laney?  Well, she didn't like us.  It took her a while to warm up to us.  And by a while, I mean...like 20 bags of Cheer*ios later.  Heh.  Even today, we're working on bonding.  But I'm thankful we have come so far.

Then, there's S.  I feel like we're somewhere in the middle.  She can be silly and affectionate (as in, sit on me if I'm layinug on the floor...NO personal space.)  Or, she can be distant and stand-offish.  Like, tonight, I kind of snapped at her during homework.  After she got out of the shower, I went in to apologize.  I told her I wanted to give her a hug.  She was like, "No.  It's fine.  I don't want a hug anyone."  I won't lie, my feelings were hurt.  She hugs my mom, and others! 

But I have to step back and remember:
A.  She's 11.
B.  She's emotional. 
C.  I had just snapped at her.
D.  We're still settling into our new normal.
E.  It's totally uncool to hug.
F.  Any other thoughts?

So other tween moms...tell me everything is normal.  Yes, I'm the QUEEN of OVERANALYZING!  So it's ok if you tell me that too!  Hehehe.

Ok, last request...since our Family Birthday is coming up, do you have any good ideas for how we can celebrate?  We can't until Saturday because Tony has a meeting, but we want to do something fun!  Three years ago we became a family!    Any ideas?


1 comment:

Chris and Sarah said...

Sorry no tween help here but I guess I will know who to come to when we hit those years.