Our 101st post :)---it's a doozy!

OK, so we've been laying low for awhile. We were super excited to hit the 12 month mark, but it wasn't as joyous as we thought. Not long after we hit that mark (exactly one week to the day) I read on our adoption agency's Yahoo group blog some pretty disappointing news. I was hesitant to write about it because of my four-in-the-morning-come-to-Jesus-post about how I shouldn't be selfish and always need everyone to encourage us. We shouldn't need everyone to always say, "It'll be alright." But, friends, family, right now we do.

The posting from our agency confirmed the rumors and our latest fears. They said that wait times would continue to increase. What it amounts to is backlog of dossiers + a shortage of paper-ready babies=only getting through a few days worth of dossiers per month. Just as a reminder to those who only pop in to read Tony's adorable posts and forget where we are in the adoption realm, we have a Log-in-Date of June 15, 2006. China is currently working on November 2005! What does all that amount to? We are looking at at least another 12-18 month wait. *sigh*

It's just SO stinking hard. I might have mentioned before that we feel like we're just "playing house" with buying clothes, organizing a play area, etc. And frankly, my darling, I'm over it. You just get to a point of thinking, "Do we want to have a daughter from China?" or "Are we just ready to be parents?" Honestly, I cannot speak for Tony, (well, I almost can) but if someone were to call us up about a private adoption right now (at 10:45 p.m.) we'd say, ok, let's talk to the birth mom! I don't want that to sound insensitive, it's simply a fact. If a little one needs a mommy and a daddy, we're ready to fill that role!

When we got in line for this roller coaster ride called adoption, we saw the signs about keeping hands inside the vehicle at all times, and that line jumping isn't a sport. But when we saw the signs that read, "Domestic adoption this way," we avoided them out of ignorance. Not only didn't it feel right at that time, we were TOTALLY afraid of domestic adoption. You know those worries, "If it's an open adoption, will I just be babysitting someone else's child?" "Can the birth family come and take away my child a month, a year, or 10 years down the line?" Now don't get me wrong, there are still lots of things we don't know about domestic adoption, but trust me on this one, education is key. The more we read and research, the less scary it is. It's a beautiful way to form families! It's still unknown territory, but we're definitely taking notice of those signs posted along the path now.

Does it mean we're jumping from the ship heading to China? NO WAY. It just means that adoption is bigger than China, and which way is God leading us? A year and a half ago the doors were opening left and right and things were going smoothly. The past few months have not gone as smoothly though. I know I can talk myself in and out of everything. "Rett, DO NOT let your faith waiver. How dare you doubt God's plan just because it's gotten a little painful!?" Imagine how history would have changed if Noah DIDN'T build that ark! So I waiver between that reasoning to, "Maybe God led us to this point to open OTHER doors. The orphan ministry is up and taking a foothold. Also, we're less fearful of domestic adoption. Maybe our child is right here in Indiana?" GRRRRRR. It's just so frustrating. Are we just being impatient? I'd almost say yes if we were on month seven of a 12 month wait, but we're talking years of doctor visits, surgeries, paperwork, and waiting...only to be another year or two?

What is all this ranting about? Somewhere in this world, God has prepared or is preparing a child specifically for us. It's just so hard to be patient. I get tired of walking around in a fertile world that was not meant for me.

Ok, enough poor Rett and Tony. We certainly do NOT have a disappointing life. We are blessed beyond words. God is good, ALL THE TIME...even right now as I'm whining!!

Thanks for listening.

Important Milestones

First, Happy Birthday to Rett. Her birthday was last week!!!!! I won't tell you how young she is...

Second, we had our ONE YEAR LID (Log In Date) anniversary on the 15th. When we started this process we were told the wait time was about 9 months. At the time, we thought we would be home and settled in by this time this year. But obviously we are still probably a year away from travel. Oh well, what can you do... We did eat Chinese food and purchased a doll for her to recognize our 12 months of "official" waiting.

Finally, Happy Father's Day to our dads!!!!!

Have a good week. Monday is just a few hours away. I can't wait.... :(

YA SICK TWISTED FREAK

Ok, if you take offense by the title of this post you are obviously not Glenn Beck fans. For those of you who do not know who Glenn Beck is, he is a conservative radio talk show host (and also has a show on CNN Headline News at 7 & 9 every night). For more info, check out his website @ http://www.glennbeck.com/home/index.shtml.

Now that you are up to speed, I will tell you why I am posting about Glenn Beck. Rett, Kristy, Richie and I traveled to Columbus, OH Friday night to see Glenn's stage show. The stage show is called the "Inconvenient Tour", poking fun at Al Gore's "The Inconvenient Truth". Needless to say it was GREAT!!!! Richie and Rett were not too thrilled about the whole thing, Kristy and I are the nerds that listen to talk radio. But once he came out, we all laughed for about 2 solid hours. It was great. No bad language, just real life situations told in a hilarious fashion.

We arrived in Columbus around 4:30 pm. We were able to park right next to the Ohio Theater. Once we parked we did the Rachel Ray thing and asked the locals where a good place was to eat. We found a cute little cafe a block away from the theater. After eating, we walked another couple of blocks to the Columbus Art Festival. It was pretty cool. There were hundreds of artists from all around the country displaying their creations. The picture is of us at the art festival along the river.

After we ate we walked back to the theater. We had perfect timing. We waited about 1 minute and they let us in for the show. We had decent seats (well, if you like really high places you could call them decent). Regardless, we had a great time.

AND THEN, when we were making our way out of the parking garage after the show we saw Glenn getting in a SUV and they pulled up RIGHT BEHIND US!!!! He pointed at Rett and Kristy (who were in backseat of the car waving at him). Cool stuff!! Richie thought the coolest thing was that we parked for free (not sure how that happened, but that was icing on the cake).

If Glenn ever comes to a city near you, you must go see him. In the mean time, catch his radio show on 930 am from 10-12:00 every day or his TV show on CNN Headline News.

Got Milk?

Here is a photo of Kristy sharing in the excitement.

WOW, am I selfish

So, I'm sitting here, awake, at 4:47 a.m. on Friday morning just contemplating life. Yeah, you heard me right...A.M.....I just couldn't sleep. I have been having trouble sleeping this week. Yes, it could be because I haven't gone to bed before 11 and sleep until after 9 (no comments from the peanut gallery, thank you). Anyway, so I got up to catch up on my Internet reading, and got to thinking.

I am one pretty selfish girl to constantly need reassuring that Abby WILL be home one day soon. I always need someone to pat my back, give me a sympathetic look, remind me of God's promises, etc when it comes to our pending parenthood. Where does Abby fit into this? Where does her birthmom fit into this? I mean, I earnestly pray that somewhere halfway around the world, someone is holding her birth mommy's hand as she gives birth...as she gives life to our daughter. I pray that someone is whispering in her ear that things will be ok. That the baby she just left on the steps to the orphanage, hospital, or grocery, will be loved much and told often about where she came from. I pray that her birth father got the chance to hold her, smell her, and feel her touch before he handed her back. Who am I to deserve all this support? What am I doing? I'm just sitting here waiting. I don't have a posh life, but I have one that is pretty remarkable. Why do I need to be told a thousand times that everything will work out?

And what about our Abby girl? Who is holding her close and telling her life will soon change, but that it will hold many adventures and love? Is she resting in her birthmother's arms feeling totally at peace? What about her maternal or paternal grandparents? Do they know about Abrielle? Is Abby's cooing reassuring to them that their daughter/son is making the right decision? Are they thinking into the future about her playing outside, or the occupation she will choose to help earn a living? Who is telling them that God has it all worked out?

It's amazing what clarity 5:00 in the morning brings. I realize, I'm one pretty selfish girl. One day, Tony and I will be parents. God willing, it will be to one remarkable little one from China. If not, it will be to another beautiful little one who needs a mommy and daddy. But until then, whenever you wonder how we're doing with the ever-lengthening wait, wonder about Abby's birthmom and dad. Wonder about her China grandparents and family. Wonder about her little heart and mind. Wonder, and then pray for peace for their souls. Pray that they have someone to pat their back, give them a sympathetic look, and tell them it's going to be ok.

Yeah, I'm just a big kid

So, for the record, there are some pretty exciting days coming up! And you, my wonderful friends and family, are a captive audience for me to remind you of them!

Jeremy's b-day (nephew) June 10
Bill's b-day (dad) June 12
Rett's b-day (me) June 12
Mackenzie's b-day (great niece) June 13
Mari's b-day (friend) June 13
1 Year Anniversary of our LID-June 15
Father's Day June 17
Marilyn's b-day (mom) June 20
Brian's b-day (friend) June 20

I've probably left somone out...and if that's the case, let me know! I know, I know, I don't do this for everyone's birthday, but since mine is in June, and it's OUR blog...I thought I'd post this! heheheheh

Don't forget to get all the daddies in your lives something special for Father's Day! And don't forget the daddies-to-be! (TONY and SHAWN-my nephew!)

So the official countdown? Only 8 days to go!!!!!! WHOO HOOO! Hey, I'm justified in my excitement. Two years ago, I couldn't even enjoy birthday cake on my birthday b/c I was fasting for my SURGERY the next day. And last year, I got the best gift ever by gaining permission to apply to China for our daughter (I turned 30). However, it was not a very tangible gift and since she is STILL not home...I want to celebrate my birthday right!!!

Happy birthday to all the June birthdays!!!!