OK, I'm going to be transparent here...this is about my deepest post to-date. Grab a box of tissues. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Back yet? Good...ok...here goes.
Does anyone, other than us, hide from the Schw*n man? You know, the guy who drives around in the big yellow truck and delivers yummy, but 0h-so-expensive food? heheeh. Yeah, on off-pay weeks, we might just be found at home, with the lights off, in stealth mode.
This week, however, we hit a new low. After taking a great walk around the 'hood with a friend of ours, we spotted the infamous yellow truck. We quickly assessed the situation (NO CASH) and put our plan into action. Amazingly enough it was pretty easy to bring Beth (the aforementioned friend) to the dark side. She walked to the corner to figure out his location. Upon realizing the seriousness of the situation (NO CASH) and the fact that we didn't know this particular salesman, we put our plan into action! We crept in the front door, and kept all of the lights off. We continued to hold Beth hostage until we got the all clear. This would involve Tony dropping flat on the floor and doing an army crawl under our picture window! Yes, you read that right. TONY did a duck and cover!
After we picked Beth up off the floor from laughing so hard, we continued to wait him out. Doorbell rang. Knocking ensued. But the VICTORY was ours! The only evidence of his visit was the little yellow paper stuck to the front door to remind us when he would be back!
Yes, our girls are in on it the whole time. They know the drill!
Later we were joking that God trusts us to parent. Tony works as a key decision-maker for the city, and I teach. Yet, we cannot muster the courage to turn the Schw*n man away, so instead we hide. How pathetic are we?
So the need for tissues earlier was really to help you wipe up the tears from laughter after you visualized our family in our bunker in suburbia. HOWEVER, I KNOW that some of you do the SAME thing! So don't judge us! :) It's time that we hiders, unite! Leave us a comment and let us know if you have ever hidden from a delivery guy/gal, a salesman, or your relative! HA!
Merry Christmas 2021
2 years ago
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21 comments:
OK, I'll come out of hiding. I have been known to army crawl to hide from the Schw*n man and others. After having kids though it got harder so I started running to the kitchen with the kids and bribing them to be very quiet. It was usually because I wasn't dressed yet though. Finally I made a deal with him and ask him not to come to my door unless the blinds were open.
I do have to say though that since the S man only comes every 2 weeks and since your saying you only get paid every other week then you are doing this everytime he comes.
You reminded me I need to make my Schw*an order.
PS Now they have freezer bags that you can put on your front porch so I don't even have to be dressed when he comes anymore.
You bet I hide!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't away from that man in the yellow truck!! He doesn't take "no" for an answer! Our family has also been known to see "a certain family" drive by, while at the table eating dinner, yell, "she's here", run turn off the lights and TV and hide. All the while the food is on the table with steam coming up from the dishes!!! Now, how bad is that!!!??? :)
OK, I WILL ALSO CONFESS. I USE TO HIDE FROM MOM"S WITH MEAN OR ROUDY CHILDREN.THEN THERE IS THE TIME JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO THAT I ANSWERED THE DOOR AND IT WAS (OH NO ) THE DREADED CHURCH LADIES, (YOU ALL KNOW WHO I MEAN, RIGHT?)WELL I WAS NICE AND LISTENED TO THEM A BIT AND THEN I SAID....YOU KNOW I DON"T MEAN TO SOUND MEAN BUT I AM VERY BUSY(NOT TRUE) BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE TALKING , SOMETIMES I DON"T. RIGHT NOW I DON"t SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME AND THANK YOU FOR STOPPING . NEEDLESS TO SAY THEY LEFT AND RETT YOU WILL LAUGH A LOT ABOUT THIS , BECAUSE IT IS FROM YOUR MOTHER. LOVE YOU LOTS MOM SADLER....P.S. NEVER SAID I WAS SHY
Way to "out" me Sarah, about the getting paid every two weeks. It's that we don't always BUDGET appropriately!
Well... Not the man in the yellow truck, but there was this one time we hid (read locked ourselves in the shed out bakc) from these two crazy characters in a yellow Jeep. LOL
that's too funny... I can totally picture you doing it too. :-)
Okay, I make my order every other week for the S man because I love the food. He comes the weeks I get paid so it works great, otherwise we would be hiding too! Now we have been known to hide from the boys in suits that walk everywhere, or the guy with a free gift to sell me a sweeper! Really I don't need another sweeper, I don't like to use the one I have!
Sorry forgot to sign my name to that one.
Rachel
The only experience we had with the Schw'n man was when we were still in business. He never tried to sell us anything, just liked to use our bathroom. Instead of hiding, we would have someone go into the bathroom so he couldn't use it, because when he would use it, it wasn't always so pleasant after he left, if you know what I mean.
Whoever just left the last comment you have me sitting in my chair about to pee my pants. That is sooooo funny!!!
I hide from the Jehovah Witnesses -although their flier does in the recycle bag!
Mary McG
in TN
Oh my goodness, that is classic!!!! I read with these wild visuals playing in my mind--toooo darn funny. You have your girls very well trained--how in the world did they stay silent???
We have turned our poor guy down sooooo many times, he has just given up on us 'poor folk'. It's Wally World all the way for this family!!
I just hope the S-man does not read our blog!!!!!
Tony
I was really laughing with the visuals that I was seeing in my mind's eye. Even though I don't know Tony I saw that little pic of him with the girls watching him present to the city council (?) and I just was picturing him doing the Special Operations crawl...way to be stealth Tony!!!!
Ya' know there was more than one perk to being in a log home down a sunny dirt lane a loooong ways from the main road...NO ONE wants to venture back.
But we have hid from well-meaning church people...oopps, can I say that on here?? Ummm, yeah, let's see, it was another church, far from here, many, many, many, years ago...yeah, that was it...many, many, many years ago...far, far away...
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it...
Hide, oh YES!! I can't afford their items, I love them, but who can afford them. I feel sorry for the poor soles that have to sell it to make a living.... they are getting the reputation that no one would want... OH! #&^%** there is the Schw*an Man AGAIN!!!!!!!
I would have loved to see the army crawl :-D
Lynnette
I used to hide from the "J W " people too. Until I started declining their invitation to their church with my invitation to them to come to church with me. Well, let me say they leave skid marks on my porch from trying to get away from me...FAST! Works EVERY time!!
I know who left the comment about the bathroom!!! hahaha The Schwan Man hides from OUR house because Richie Anderson bit his head off for coming to our house at 10:30 PM one night! Don't mess with Richie after 9pm!! Before then, I LOVED ordering Schwan Food. Now, he speeds past the Anderson Ranch! As for the JW peeps, I will stand right in the front picture window and watch them knock on my door. Heck, I'll wave! haha I'm with Rachel on the sweeper people, though. Once I shut a salesman's arm in the door because he kept trying to give me a can of Glade. I didn't want it. hahaha Funny post, Rett!
kristy
Oh, I forgot to say...The Schwan Man growing up was cool because he'd give you a free fudgie for helping carry the packages in the house. I was all about that. I know he also left a free 'fudgie' at Tony's Auto Service from time to time, too...
That was SO wrong! hahahahahaha
I'm the one who fields the telemarketer calls for my husband. He will listen to them drone on for an eternity until they break him down for cash or credit card. Me? I say, "No thenks" and hang up.
I've seen the Schwan man around here, but he's never come to my door. However, after reading some of these posts, I think I won't let the use my bathroom either! For that, I will do the duck and cover so he doesn't know we're home. I don't need that smell all day.
OK, I have to help the S man out here a little. Some things are VERY high priced but if you buy the veggies and ice cream they are comparable to store prices.
Also the cheese biscuits are oh so yummmmmy. Never buy the meat though because they steal from you on that.
Did you see they have funnel cake fries now?
We love our S man!
I have to admit, I have also hid from the dreaded, come at the wrong time yellow truck. They really don't give up. Ring the doorbell, knock and start all over again.
Elaine
LMAO I thought I was the only one who hid from the Schwann's man. After a few weeks, he stopped coming.
Kat
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