Friday, September 11, 2009

Transparent-again

Ok, maybe it's guilt. Maybe it's a need to share my life with the world. Maybe I need someone to say, "It's ok...just try harder next time." Whatever the reason, here it is:

Today, I have been praying CONSTANTLY for Josh, the young man from Linny's blog that is missing in the wilderness. I told Linny that I would be fasting along with praying today. She has great posts about fasting...check her side bar out. But today, I only fasted breakfast. I was starved by lunch and gave in, even though I was praying about NOT giving in.

Linny has challenged me to grow spiritually. This is one of the strongest women of God I know. She has explained how when we fast, we petition God to be favorable in our prayers. It draws us to Him and strengthens our spiritual discipline. You can fast for specific purposes, specific answers you are seeking. And I was doing just that. But I am weak. I am one chubby mama that is weak.

There. I said it. I feel so disappointed in myself. NO willpower.

Forgive me, Lord. Give me strength so that I will yearn for your heart and hold true to Your teachings. Help give me self-discipline so that I will not disappoint You. And Lord, please please return Josh to his family. Help the rescuers have fresh eyes, and sharp senses. Protect Josh, until they find him. Thank you, God. Thank you, Father.

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7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are not weak or you wouldn't be able to share in the way you do.
I'm so proud of your growth in the Lord and all that you share and challege us. May God continue to touch you and bless you.
Mimi

Shonni said...

Oh, I am so sorry, and so understand. Hang in there!

Jaime (@ fearfully and wonderfully made) said...

don't feel bad. or discouraged. know that your heart belongs to God and He hears our prayers. i was taught (regarding fasting) that it is also done so that when we feel those rumblies telling us to eat that we are reminded to pray, b/c face it, it's easy to get distracted during the day and not be praying. so, just commit your heart and thoughts and prayers to Josh and God will hear them.
(and if it makes you feel better, i've never had a successful day of fasting... i always give in by lunch time too)

IzzyBeth said...

I have a serious willpower issue myself. I will pray for you as I know you will pray for me! We can do it!!!

Mom Of Many said...

Sweet friend, Don't beat yourself up. We have ALL had days like that. Its okay. Really. Totally okay. You are loved!! xo

Adeye said...

I absolutely LOVE your heart, dear friend. You are SUCH a blessing!

Sending you a HUGE hug tonight.

Anonymous said...

Dear sweet pickles,You are such a blessing to us .May your days and nights become brighter and serene.I send you love,hugs, and time to talk. anytime,. anywhere.
Love you more,MOM P.S. PLEASE TAKE TIME FOR RETT, YOU ARE A VERY IMPORANT PART OF MY HEART.